this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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For anyone who doesn't know what that drink is, it is a relic of the times where alcohol was considered medicine and it expresses that with flavor. It tastes like antiseptic and Band-Aids. It is universally considered a terrible alcohol with no redeeming qualities except the joy of sadomasochistic introductions to the unfamiliar.
Malört, for when you want to unfriend someone in-person.
I will admit I love introducing people to it, but I always preface it as the worst tasting liqueur for most people. I have a wonky palate, and I love bitter and herbal flavors. I have introduced it to some people who enjoy strong herbal flavors that hadn't heard of it and were pleasantly surprised.
I usually have a bottle of Malort at home, and I especially love it when my stomach is unsettled. I sip it neat or on the rocks.
Fun aside, it's also a great way to add some complexity and balance to an overly sweet sparkling wine. It has its place in making cocktails, but I get why most people don't like it.
Consider therapy, I am passively worried about you.
So.... Along the lines of Jager Meister, but worse?
Jäger does not have anywhere near the notoriety of bad flavor. People describe Jäger as tasting like licorice, Malört is described as tasting like if your shame and regret were fermented and filtered through a burning Chicago dumpster.
Malört, because you won't be getting your security deposit back.
Malört, tonight is the day you fight your dad.
Malört, the official drink of poor decisions.
Malört, the strongly-worded last call.
Malört, because "fuck you" is polite.
You order Jäger and everybody is like ok, do you. You order Malört and the staff ask if you are sure and follow that up with asking if you are ok.
There is a bar that has $5 shots, Malört is $2.
At the local Binny's(alcohol retailer), the manager initiates new hires with a shot of Malört.
Malört is something you need to experience, because I hate you.
This description makes me want to walk the half a mile to the nearest bar, order a shot, knock it back, pay in cash, and immediately walk home.
Not just out of curiosity but because now that sounds like the most "I really wish I knew more about what that person has going on" thing I'll be able to do today.
Malört is the drink of doesn't elaborate and leaves.
If you are outside of Chicago, I would be surprised if they had it.
As someone who dislikes licorice, it tastes like a very strong herbal drink to me
I remember malort tasting like what I imagine grapefruit flavored floor cleaner would taste like. So yeah its much much much worse than jager
No. Malort is it's own experience. That you can still taste three days l later.
It's primary use is for Chicago locals to weed or the tourists
It's got a worse reputation but i'd drink malort over jaeger all fay
There are some who do actually enjoy it. I don't know why. Personally I think it tastes like dirty sidewalk and cigarette ashes mixed together.
Personally, I think it tastes like dumpster juice. I’ve never tasted dumpster juice, but I’m convinced.
I think it tastes like chewing on aspirin. So, yeah super bitter with no redeeming qualities.
Yup: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f6nVI0T8Or8
I love people's attempts to describe it in the comments section
That was hilarious lol
TIL