this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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How many times a day do you meet the love of your life? (lemy.lol)
submitted 8 months ago by throwaway077295@lemy.lol to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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I have this thing where I see a random person on the street, in the store, or in the park and it makes me picture what it would be like to be together with this person, to build a house together, have pets together, live a life together. I try not to stare as I walk past and go about my day.

For minutes to hours I have this gut-punch feeling that the love of my life just walked out of the door and I'll never see them again. Soon after, when the stranger is all but forgotten I'll run into the next stranger and the cycle repeats.

Somehow I believe this is a mundane and typical thing that occurs to men, maybe to non-binary people and women too? However, I've never spoken to anyone about this in real life. So I'd like to hear your thoughts. Does this happen to you?

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[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 2 points 8 months ago

Sounds like endogenous FOMO colored by situational loneliness due to social isolation.

My top recommendation would be to find social activities to participate in. Book clubs, social sports, interest-related meetups, etc.

The reason is that isolation makes it easy to develop for others feelings that are less accountable to reality. These feelings can be positive or negative, and the others can be individuals or large groups of people, but the effect is the same.

Spending time with people is the natural remedy. The more you understand others, the more you understand yourself, and the easier it becomes to appreciate others for who they are without defining your self by them (aka “attachment”).

TL;DR: Get to know people, all kinds of people, and you will discover the natural remedy for these intrusive feelings of attachment.