this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Autism
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Not officially diagnosed but my dad and niece recently were. When I figured it out a few years ago, I pretty much shrugged it off and ignored it.
I’m paying a bit more attention and slowly learning more now, mostly because my sister has been researching so much. Don’t really feel ready to do a deep dive into analysing everything about me that affected by autism, but I am learning more.
My sister actually said to me that she didn’t realise how hard it must have been for me in school without out any support and pointed out specifically how an issue with my neck and wearing a tie is a sensory issue.
Blew my mind as I’d never considered it, just thought I was being overly dramatic and weird with feeling like I was suffocating. I ended up crying so many times after being told off for not wearing it properly and having the top buttons of my shirt undone. Only thing I got in to trouble for at school.
She’s also made me rethink some other issues I’ve had. Like my gullibility. It’s hard for me to know for certain if someone is messing around or lying and I usually take things more literally than I should. I’m better now than I was as a kid, but still see it if I think back on some conversations. And my penchant for answering personal questions honestly even when the questions were inappropriate and shouldn’t have been asked.
Big one I’ve been considering lately is just how much of my replies at work a basically a script. Most customer conversations repeat in the same basic way, and I repeat the same responses to them all. May be why I get annoyed with overly friendly regular customers. They’re more random in what they say, tell me more personal things and I don’t know how to respond.