Ask Lemmy

I just absolutely hate being a man in a “what role men have in society”-way.

I know exactly what you mean. A lot of random nonsense is seen as "unmanly" for no particular reason. I've seen grown ass men throw temper tantrums about doughnuts with pink glaze, because it is apparently uNmAnLy to even touch one, as if you would get a visit from the man police and they revoke your man card for even contemplating touching something in a "girly" color. It's just complete and utter nonsense.

It is a lot healthier to not give a flying fuck about gender roles - but also harder, depending on the society you live in. I have the luxury of being a big, bearded dude so not many people dare to openly mock me when I do "unmanly" stuff - I let my niece paint my nails whenever she wants. I cry when movies get emotional. The last dog I owned was a mini pinscher, and I still miss her. I don't like beer, cars, football/soccer/whatever. I bake and cook and I can get real passionate about it. I still own my first ever plushie.

...but I also have a bunch of friends who have been relentlessly bullied for similar stuff, gaslighted into believing that they deserved it for not being manly enough. And it breaks my heart every time I hear yet another story of someone killing their own passion, numbing themselves down to the point that they become unable to enjoy what they formerly loved, just to "fit in" a society that doesn't accept deviation from the perceived norm.

Fuck gender roles in general. All they do is make people miserable for not fitting in.

EDIT: The above statement is not meant to bash trans folk by the way. What I dislike are the expectations tied to certain societal "roles" and the almost automatic ostracisation by "the society" if someone isn't fulfilling enough of those expectations. Let people be who they want to be.