The Onion

4354 readers

339 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

737

Warren "all you can eat" Buffet (midwest.social)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

50 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A squirrel tore up one of our lawn chair cushions to make its nest. Little piece of shit. Then bits of lawn chair stuffing blew all over the neighborhood that winter.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

I was wondering why I wasn't getting telemetry from my watering bowls and started tracking down the issue. I had leaned a pole with a LoRa antenna up against a tree, and one of the little bastards chewed the line through in about a dozen spots. If they get in the soffet of a house they'll tear all the insulation out, then store thousands of spruce cones in there, making a lovely fire hazard.

Hate them almost as much as mice.