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You literally wrote most south east Asian cultures are deeply pretentious. Having a Thai partner doesn't somehow magically make you an authority on a region with close to 700 million people. You're grouping together countries like Indonesia, Vietnam, the Philippines, Burma and Singapore and calling them deeply pretentious. Bringing up a Thai partner to demonstrate some kind of authority in the matter fits perfectly in with the rest of it. I don't have any issues believing you have a Thai partner and have spoken to many Thais. My issue again is with you thinking that fact gives you the authority to casually judge a region of 700 million people as deeply pretentious. And then doubling down.
Not OP but:
It's kind of true. As an Indian I know how much SEA turns up their nose at the sight of Indians.
I worked over there. Man Singapore looks so far down on Indians and Malaysians it's amazing they can even see things to be racist about. And then they steal everyone else's cuisine anyways.
It's amazing how much SEA cares about status and all that but I think it's to make sure they note that while being working class countries they are white collar instead of blue in an attempt to excuse anything away. "Hey, at least we aren't farmers"
Even the birth places of Buddhism, Daoism, and more can't avoid the trappings of perceived identity.
I don't claim to be an authority. This is my opinion.
I've actually spent a great deal of time in each of the countries you mentioned with the exception of Singapore. I'm entitled to have an opinion, with which you may disagree if you wish.
I didn't disclaim my opinion with mealy mouthed qualifications as in "well in my opinion people I've met in South East Asia often tend to be more pretentious than the average person in, say, Australia" because I just don't care what you think.
I have in fact spent a great deal of time talking with Thais both in Thailand and abroad about this exact issue. I suspect you might be surprised at how many of them would just outright tell you "yeah I don't like how everyone thinks Thailand is some kind of drug country now".
Are you white? Because they won't extend the same courtesy to brown people.. specifically Indians.
Yes I'm white.
Skin color is a very strong indicator of class or social status in Thailand. People who work outside or in the fields will have darker skin. People who sit around all day in-doors will have lighter skin.
While logically people can acknowledge that this isn't true in 2024, there's plenty of wealthy people with a dark complexion, it's so deeply embedded in Thai culture that beautiful, desirable people have light skin.