Transfem

3458 readers

119 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[TW: Hate] How have you dealt with real life experiences of hate and transphobia? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Amelia_@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

12 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Recently I have been struggling a little trying to accept and prepare for the consequences of coming out and exposing this very sensitive part of myself to the world. With the increase in hate crimes and anti-trans sentiment it is a very scary idea.

This was made even worse by a comment I found on Reddit today:

People ask why I bailed on transitioning. It’s not fun having your entire right to exist as a human being used as a political tool. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to have to spend my life justifying who I am to people who frankly don’t give a shit either way. They just want to hate me. 15 years ago nobody gave a toss which toilet I used in public. Today I’ll get spat on while waiting for a bus because I dared wear a dress. Not once in my life in this country till about 5 or 6 year ago did I ever feel scared for my safety for being who I am. I may be miserable now, but at least nobody is spitting on me anymore.

So I'd love to hear other's perspectives on what they've actually experienced and how they have dealt with it. I am sorry for raising such a painful topic but hopefully it can help people.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] lililou@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago

The most transphobia I've experienced is honestly from my mom, which I guess is a bit sad.

I live in a liberal area and generally pass, so I don't get much hate from people on the street at least. I know that even in this area, people can quite mean to non-passing trans women though, with a lot of stares and a few insults. I experienced the stares when I started out and it was kinda rough, but also you get used to it. I'm not sure it's even negative attention, just attention. Pretty much everyone that I actually interacted with day to day has been nice, and once I started passing even the stares stopped.

The worst transphobia I've experienced has been from my mom. Each time we've talked about my transition, she would spew a bunch of nonsense about sex/gender, risks of transition, etc. She's not really curious about the process, she's just finding reasons to stop my transition somehow. Like that quote in the comment, I ended up having to justify who I am. It was exhausting, so I had to stop talking to her. It still makes me sad to have that bond severed, but honestly (as another commenter here put it) it's not even just about the transition. It made me reflect upon a pattern of her not respecting me and my choices throughout my life.

I think most people on the street are scared to bring up the topic of gender transition just like that. They might be a bit mean, but I guess it doesn't bother me. I am kinda airy though, so if someone spit at me on the bus, I may not notice or attribute it to something else haha. The transphobia from close friends and family really digs into me though...

Still, my life is now much better than before. I'm more present within my own body. My transition really put into perspective the lines within society and within my own relationships. They were there all along and probably would be revealed sooner or later, but I really shocked the system into revealing its nature.