this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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[–] Syldon@feddit.uk 49 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I have seen a couple of girls looking stuck and helped them out. I made sure they took a picture of the reg and passed it on. To me it makes sense, increasing the chances of someone being found out makes them less likely to be a danger.

My pet hate is realising I am walking behind some girl who has started looking nervous. There is very little you can do to alleviate it. If you slow down it looks suspicious, and they don't want you near them so it is hard to walk past to get in front. It is a price most men face because of other people misgivings.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I always pass them and greet them politely, it's an immediate tension relief

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 months ago

Politely greeting, not historically moaning

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

i mean if you really want to ameliorate that - Stop and tie your shoelace, or adjust your sock like it's slipped into your shoe or something.

Then look around to get your bearings and pause for a minute. Check your phone or something.

This is assuming you are also keeping yourself safe and such activities won't inspire a mugging of your own personage.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, the good old "stop, act as if there was a good reason for that, and casually look around to see if there are any witnesses" of the rapist/thief preparing to pounce.

Or at least, that's how it might very well be read by somebody already afraid and getting a bit paranoid because some guy has been walking behind her for the last couple of blocks.

The best way to not act suspicious is to not act at all - unless you're a great actor, doing a mini-performance instead of just keep on doing your thing normally will often feel off to most people, especially if they're a bit paranoid and thus extra alert for anything unusual.

Ideally, IMHO, just ignore that person altogether, as any reaction, even just accelerating your step to pass that person because you're trying to be nice and not seem to be following her, might be noticed (from the sound of the footsteps) and increase a person's paranoia.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago (3 children)

you'd have to be an anime protagonist for a crouching position to be a benefit if attempting to pursue and subdue someone. What are they, charging their ki for a kamehameha?

[–] joel_feila@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

its actually surprise sex no jutsu

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

You're being overspecific in your mind about the physicallity of my use of "pounce".

I meant "pounce" in the sense of initiating the sequence of actions of an attack (say, get up, run and pull somebody's purse) not in the sense as a the physicallity of a tiger pounce.

That said, this mismatch of impressions nicelly illustrates how you can't to assume that the person on the other side thinks the same as you: you really can't presume that somebody else feeling a bit scared and paranoid by your footsteps that sound like somebody following her has taken the time to ponder on what the best moves for a thief are, and reached the same conclusion as you that stopping, tying your shoelaces and looking around isn't at all what a thief would do to simulate not being a thief.

[–] Syldon@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago

No, I am saying that veering from the action of simply walking as you normally would is viewed with suspicion, because they have no idea where you have gone. Dropping further back and moving out of view, only to find you come back into view later on, can make somebody who feels threatened even more so. There is no correct action to alleviate the issue.

I should also that this is not a situation I find myself in these days. I don't work shifts anymore, so rarely find that I am walking home in the dark. It was something that was quite common in my younger days. Mainly due to where I lived at the time and the fact I was not a car driver.

[–] EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I work in retail and I find myself constantly ending up going in the same direction of a customer

After like less then a minute of seemingly following a person I just straight up stop for a bit or turn around

[–] Syldon@feddit.uk 6 points 11 months ago

I have found so many rat runs through estates. When the traffic is bad and you see cars veering off. I often have followed the cars that look like they are heading in my direction. I have never ended up on a stranger's drive way yet.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern 5 points 11 months ago

I had a retail job in college and a customer once accused me of following them around the store.

I had a cart with returned items I was putting back on the shelves...

Some people are just up their own ass, but I must assume she had a bad experience at one point in her life to be that paranoid.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 11 months ago

The worst bit when this happens is that they walk so unbelievably slowly. So I end up catching up with them.