this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Nah I'm with you. I don't use spyware apps (surprised? Shouldn't be, I'm on lemmy lol, and was 2y before ths exodus.) so the only one I could use is alovoa which I hear nobody uses anyway, and even then I haven't uploaded a pic of myself for privacy reasons since before 2014 so I'm not thrilled about that prospect, and the only acceptible place to talk to a strange woman is "the bar" but since I more or less quit drinking (my max is now like 3 in a night because I quit for a year and now have no tolerance and have to work at 7am anyway), and all the women I've met in the bar so far over these last 10yr seem to be "functioning for a month or so" alcoholics (the last one was abusive to boot), and now-a-days all I do is work, food store, home anyways so basically I'd have to see an attractive woman in the Aldi and what, strike up a convo about the basil pesto mac and cheese? "Hey this is weird but I saw you from across the frozen food section and I was wondering if you're not seeing anyone maybe you'd like to grab some coffee?" Can't do that, that's creepy, gotta do the swipe in the appropriate direction on the god-rectangle.
Most of my hobbies are kinda loner hobbies. I like books, can't meet women in the book store; I like comic books, comic stores are similarly out, and can't be the 400th creepy guy at a con to try and talk to a cosplayer; I like music, can't be the creepy guy trying to meet women at a show; I like walking through the botanical gardens near me, but can't be the creepy guy trying to talk to women there either, etc. All of my hobbies easily can be enjoyed with others, but typically others you already know and bring, or meet there (as in drive separately).
I completely agree about the mindset of "meeting women" being a hinder. That mindset only really works when you're in a setting where everybody is already horny
I mean, in context or just friends? Because I can do friends all day without being "the creepy guy who hit on so and so while she was just trying to enjoy comic con," or something, it's the attempt to date that is viewed as creepy, not "existence in public." But if there are places it is appropriate to say "hey I think you seem cool we should drink some fucking hot bean water" I'm unaware of them, and would like to be informed.
You think that I participate in the hobbies I enjoy, the hobbies I call loner hobbies, the hobbies you suggested I meet women at and I said it is considered rude to do so so I don't, just to meet women? I'm gonna be honest I'm having a hard time following your logic here, it seems like this was just an attempt at a veiled insult. You think "meet a woman" means plow her behind the porta-potties, stick a $20 on the cumshot on her forehead, and say "get your self a cab?" No, I would like "a coffee date," we'll see if I'd like "a dinner date" based on that, etc. That whole "hopefully finding a person you want to spend time with, and they reciprocate the feelings" is called "dating" by most of the world. Or WAS before dating became "Tinder."
I guess. Still sucks for those of us without whatever hobbies you have though, I don't even know what hobbies it is not creepy to ask a woman out while doing, ime, that is "all hobbies."
I've always been curious about trying a cooking class, that would be a fun meetcute. But it should probably be only for singles and idek if that exists😂
Tbh a cooking class might be good anyway lol, I'm shit at cooking.