this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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She doesn't even fight back. She doesn't like to do that. I've tried to tell her to do it and she just doesn't have the self-esteem. It's been bullied out of her. I wish I had taken her out sooner. I feel pretty guilty about that. But I didn't really accept that it was a situation that would not be resolved until Halloween, where she wore a really cool anime cat girl costume which looked exactly like a character she loves- I don't remember the name- that my wife made for her. I'm not big on anime, but it was like high-end cosplay level when it came to a costume. My wife is really talented. She was so excited that she wouldn't even take it off all day after my wife finished it. She wore it to school and basically the entire school told her she was a furry and her costume was terrible and made fun of her the entire day. She got up the next day and broke down and said she couldn't go to school anymore and we realized that was something that is not fixable.
This might be a long shot, but ask her if she'd be interested in learning martial arts. She doesn't need to "learn how to fight" for it to give her more confidence. It worked for me
I've asked her before. It doesn't interest her. She's not an athletic kid. Also, there are other issues I can't get into.
While it's generally good to avoid confrontations and walk away, it's a good idea to know atleast basic self-defense. School was a terrible experience for me as people with low self-confidence tend to make easy targets for bullies. I hope your daughter gets through school without much trouble. Please do support her. Sometimes it's not easy for kids to tell people cuz of ego or just the general distrust for adults. Also whoever thought putting a bunch of puberty riddled kids into one room was an idiot.
Middle school is the worst time in school. Kids are absolute monsters at that age.
Aligns with my experience