Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I honestly do not understand what you are trying to say. Are you implying this comic is one of the "all men are bad" category? Are you parodying how incels would react to a post like this?
No. I'm just tired of all the blame men are getting. It's like being a man makes you inherently a bad, evil person and a persecutor of women.
Men have their flaws, sure. And yes there is toxic masculinity. But at some point, blaming men all the time for everything is like they're using them as scapegoats for their own shortcomings. Fait exemple, is it because of men that this author isn't assertive?
And I also disagree with her other one about the mental load over responsibilities in her household and how men are lazy. And how, according to her, it's all women who have this problem and all men are like this. In my household, I'm the one who takes care of these things. I'm the one who plans groceries, thinks about repairs, thinks about laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking, etc. Yet my girlfriend used her fucking comic to point out to me that I'm the lazy one in the house somehow because I have a dick and balls and spend longer periods in the bathroom than her.
She has a problem with assertiveness and she blames men for her own shortcomings.
And I'm so sick and tired of the anti-men bullshit that it's really affecting my self esteem and my perception of myself. I can't express how I feel about this either because someone will just repeat some fucking anti-men text they read off of some feminist meme and mock me by saying "nOt AlL mEn". As if "yes all men are bad". I've seen girl friends post shit on social media where they said all men should die and even mocked articles about suicide rates in men. They also laughed as they reposted articles about men committing suicide.
At some point, when are we going to recognize there is some toxic feminists who are just outright mysandrists and there is nothing men will ever do to make them happy?
Or maybe that's the solution isn't it? Maybe I should just fucking kill myself and do all women a big fucking favor.
Dude... The moment the woman in the story shows even remote signs of assertiveness, she gets fired.
I don’t think he read that far down honestly.
Maybe you just need more self esteem? Why are you blaming society for your own shortcomings?
You don't represent men and certainly not me. If you feel personally attacked enough to write a novel about it in a Lemmy thread, maybe you are the problem.
Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.
I think you are conflating men with the patriarchy. These two things are different. Men are people, and people are diverse with unique thoughts and feelings. The patriarchy is a system that causes men and women to behave in gender conforming ways that are harmful to both.
This comic isn't criticizing men as a whole, it's criticizing the social conditioning that many men go through that make them unaware of how certain speech and actions impact women.
When comics like this are asking men to be mindful of benevolent sexism, it's not saying 'men are sexist', it's asking men to be aware of this phenomenon and take steps to stop themselves and others from perpetuating it.
You might not express benevolent sexism, but your friends, family, and colleagues might, and you can be an ally when by pointing it out when you see it.
Too often when women face subtle forms of sexism, they are prohibited from speaking up due to the downplay and backlash they get. Subtle forms of sexism are very hard to point out without being labeled as bitchy or oversensitive.
I know it may not feel like it but this is what healthy masculinity means in this day and age. There is nothing more respectable than men speaking up to other men and holding each other to higher standards. It's incredibly powerful for men to speak up and support women in this because men who perpetuate benevolent sexism generally tend to listen to other men.