this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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cross-posted from: https://kbin.social/m/mensliberation@lemmy.ca/t/623593

Harping on people to get married from up in the ivory tower fails to engage with reality of life in the dating trenches.

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[–] bender223@lemmy.today 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

My guess is that more and more people are realizing that they can still live very fulfilling lives without getting married.

I can't imagine how weird and scary it is for women to be dating right now, knowing that there are so many far-right extremist men out there, who have a high potential of being misogynistic or even violent.

[–] SoupBrick@yiffit.net 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Centrist in bio = 95% red flag.

[–] ArtZuron@beehaw.org 22 points 1 year ago

Centrist = Far Right MAGA = So far right they're fascist Libertarian = Far right but in denial (most of the time) Democrat = Center Right

[–] bermuda@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As a man it's weird seeing other men look at the same guy who said "grab them by the pussy" in complete seriousness and then say "that's my president!"

And then in the next breath they complain that women don't give them the time of day. Like it's... strange. I think if you're gonna be misogynist you should also realize that means a lot of women aren't going to be into you, but some of them just straight up don't see it. The math just does not work in their brains.

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You just reminded me of that time when young right-wing men were complaining that women wouldn't date them when they found out about their political stance.

It was one of the funniest things I've read in "the news" in a while.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Remember when they made that dating app for conservatives and then women didn't sign up for it?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Right_Stuff_%28app%29

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Didn't hear about that one. Funny stuff

[–] Magiccupcake@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not turning out very well for women. A recurring theme in this area is that men seem hesitant on commitment, which ends up ending the relationship one way or another.

The issue is more complex and deeper.

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Depends what you mean by "commitment".

Some think it means marriage and children. Which is understandable being hesitant about. Both are big steps that require some "scrying" into the future.

But I don't have the impression there's as much of a problem with simply commiting to a relationship and being a couple.

[–] Magiccupcake@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment, making your relationship legal and/or spiritual while declaring it in front family and friends.

Men who are against marriage are seemingly against commitment, but I think that comes out of a strong desire for commitment and stability.

Children are whole different issue from marriage admittedly.

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's dependent on a few different things. The country you live in and such.

Some years back there was a wave of 'catfishing' stories in the media. "Get married and lose 49% of everything you own" basically.

That'll make anyone hesitant to sign a marriage contract.

[–] bermuda@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

plus you've got societal expectations for marriages. honeymoons, church marriages, the recitals and all that can cost big money. even just the photography. It all costs a bunch of money that some people just don't have, and they're too hesitant to burn bridges over it. Sure, you can elope in secret right? But that's a bigger can of worms then just staying partners

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Yup, If we could do away with all negative economic aspects of weddings and marriage, I doubt that kind of commitment would be a problem for most men.