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So I'm pretty far left (for an American), but I think there is a nuance that I've had explained at me by some non-mouth-frothing Republican types I've worked with.
For them, there is a difference between choosing to be part of community, helping other people, and sharing what they have, and being forced to do those things (via taxes). It always struck me as... exclusionary. It means that they can help their literal neighbor and ignore the people on the other side of town (or the other side of the country).
So it may feel like it's leftist/communist/etc, but it's just an extension of "fuck you, I got mine" to "fuck everyone else, me and mine got ours, and only on my terms."
Non-frothing conservative checking in, there is indeed a nuance not unlike what you said. However. I think some of that comes from past experiences, precedence. We know charity & people-driven initiatives are powerful! Can be effective. Government-driven (/taxpayer funded) initiatives? Incompetent. Often wasteful.
Like all the billions to Ukraine, Google says it's "over 75 billion" and I thought I've heard $90B in the past. How much has actually hit the front lines, been ACCOUNTED FOR and USEFUL? I've heard $30B. 😔 That is (/was) our money, and we've got plenty of problems at home.
We do care about helping people, in a sensible & straightforward manner. A hand up, not a hand out, to bring about actual positive change. There is accountability. People help people. Governments help themselves, to your bank account & fruits of your labor.
You want to know how much the government cares about you? You want to talk about exclusionary? Look no further than East Palestine, OH. Biden is being flown all over the world. Back & forth to Ukraine, writing blank checks. But the Resident of the United States can't be bothered to even visit East Palestine or give OUR OWN people OUR money. And he still hasn't gone. It's a running joke in conservative circles that a town with the name East Palestine should raise some ISIS flags & scream about how much they hate America, maybe then the government will shower them with money.
Some might say this is...exclusionary. Biden said he'd go, idk, maybe he just forgot. Hard as that may be to believe. Even worse are the people who openly say, "East Palestine is conservative, they probably voted for Trump, they don't deserve aid/let them die/etc". Truly despicable talk, un-American & partisan.
Idk man, I don't claim to know everything. But look, I brought some receipts. Just some things for you all to think about. Please know, the government is not your friend.
I don't think anyone thinks the government is our friend. I don't know why that matters though. A company isn't my friend either. When the options for things getting done are between a company (who's motivation is supposed to be profit) and the government (who's motivation is supposed to be good), I'll take the government.
Joe Biden is a neo-liberal conservative old school politician. I don't like him, and I don't know anyone who does. He has been fairly effective for getting some good done though. I wish he'd speak out more and push for doing more good, but he's done better than I expected from him (which is basically nothing, except not causing more damage like the last guy), because he's got some progressive support behind him pushing for more leftist things.
We don't need the government to be our friend. We need it to do what's needed for the most good per dollar. I don't think that should just be internal either, because humans are humans no matter where they live. I don't really value "American". I don't think being born on this piece of dirt makes you any more important than someone born on some other piece of dirt.
Also, the military spending in Ukraine is mostly not money, it's value. It's the value of weapons that were already built and built for the purpose of fighting Russia and China at the same time potentially. Them being used to fight Russia is literally the most effective thing they could do, and what they were designed for. Russia being weaker means we need to have less stockpiled. If they weren't sent over, they'd just be sitting in storage somewhere not being used. We aren't sending cash for the most part.