Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
view the rest of the comments
I think we can agree that your experience was valid and changed your life. The emphasis here is on your life for good reason. Porn and masturbation, like any other escape mechanism, is exactly that. I suspect something underlying as the cause for your need to escape that much. The nofap community there helped you reinforce that change. It does not make the community entirely wholesome.
What I wonder is if you would have had the same results with changes in your life without specifically focussing on porn and masturbation. I have observed this a few times in other areas, where changes to routine and outlook was the actual source of the improvement and not the thing the improvement was attributed to.
Just a thought. It is always good to try and understand yourself. It takes nothing away from your achievement in turning your life around.
I repeat: If I did it, all my energies suddenly disappeared, if I did not, they didn't. It's as simple as that - Just ditching porn out of my life fixed every single problem, literally. Tried to run a little bit after fapping (even a few days after)? Felt too tired and basically died. Tried to run after some days in NoFap? No problem. Same goes for everything mental. I repeat: it is psychophysically draining, much more than you would expect.
Im really active in the NoFap community as a lurker and never seen anything particularly toxic, just people cheering up other people who're facing their same problems. These articles y'all read are obviously in bad faith, because they take a edge case and extend it to a whole category without even showing evidence of toxicity in the community itself, purposely misunderstanding our words to make us look as the villains
The only issue is the NoFap subreddit, which is flooded by trolls, even though they usually get banned after a while. This is why I prefer the official NoFap forum
I would have never reached any of my goals if I didn't stop watching porn and stuff, because it was ditching porn out that made me able to start a recovery journey. I would have probably just surrended to depression induced by my miserable attitude and behaviour
Science should at least try to understand our instances and talk to us, rather than purposely misinterpreting it to make us look as idiots. Of course if you don't study a phenomenon you don't understand it
Thanks for being polite though 💕
If you masturbate without watching porn do your energies disappear?
Yes, but ofc it's even badder with porn
No point in attacking you for something that works for you. Neither of us learns anything under those conditions. Philosophies teaching abstinence in physical pleasures have been around forever. In my mental map of the world, the NoFap community falls under those.
It is something you believe helps you be the person you want to be, more power to you. I would only consider it harmful if it attempts to impose its ideas on people who don't agree. Or deliberately spreads misinformation internally that may be harmful to its adherents.
The thing is that you don't want to listen us
First of all, we've never went in other places of the internet other than our community spaces promoting our ideas, you are the ones always attacking us.
In second hand, it is NOT about pleasure abstinence! We DO NOT claim that masturbation is intrinsically bad, we say that SOMETIMES, for SOME PEOPLE, that MIGHT be an issue which ultimately ends up exacerbating their previous issues, which sometimes even go away by themselves while the compulsory behaviour still remains, generating new issues and more frustration. We literally claim that sex is the best thing you can do to speed up your recovery journey and that after you feel completely free from your addiction (which usually takes 90 days) you can of course masturbate again, just in an healthy and controlled way
Also, we do not spread toxic behaviour and ideas which might harm our adherents. If you're not able to distinguish things from the contextes in which they are located it's neither our fault or our responsibility. It is not misinformation
"BuT 13YeAr OlDs oN ThE InTerNeT miGhT be seeInG yOuR ConTenT wiThOuT UndErStanDing iT"
So you're more afraid of an addiction recovery community, where people just cheer up each other into getting a new grip on life but not of all the softcore porn, the social media propaganda and echo chambers, cyberbullying and all the bad things traditional social media might create in the heads of you children, destroying their self confidence because they don't feel enough rich, skinny, or muscular, or who just don't fit our societal beauty archetype? C'mon, 10year olds shouldn't be even destroying their dopamine receptors on Instagram or TikTok in first place.