this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Off My Chest

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My fiancée does not know how to order off a menu. Actually she does, she doesn't care to order from a menu like most people do.

Going out to eat with her is pretty much an hour long ordeal of me gritting my teeth while she racks up a bill 3x mine, all while trying nicely to steer her to just one item. She'll open the menu, get overwhelmed with options, and end up ordering a la carte from places that do not work that way, asking for endless substitutions and upcharges. As an example, at a restaraunt, she might not be able to decide between a burger or chicken tenders, so she'll ask for "a half order" of both of them, then she likes the sound of one specific dipping sauce that comes with another entree so she'll ask for a cup of that, etc. Etc. I'll say something before we go in, she'll promise me she'll just get a water, and then get a water - and a margarita. It's draining. At this point, we go out maybe once pr twice a year unless something forces us out more than that.

The scenario that prompted this rant was that tonight was one of those times. Our bill was $82.10. My entree plus water was $10.99.

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[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 49 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Nah, im just being dramatic, venting. She's literally great in every other aspect, financially speaking. We split rent 50/50, buy groceries separately, both contribute equally to a rainy day cash jar, etc. Etc. It's just that all of that responsibility goes out when she gets to a restaraunt booth. I'm not going to tank 6 years over that, just using the community for what its made for

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

My partner has a friend like this. We take her to a place we like, because it does have good food..

They then makes an endless series of modifications to a dish the place is known for, until it's utterly indistinguishable, and the back of house crew will be very annoyed. Then they complain that the food wasn't good.

[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago

just using the community for what its made for

Just as the internet was meant to be. I genuinely hope things get better.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

That would drive me insane.

I'm glad your girl is otherwise a great partner, but are you worried other things like this might become evident once you've tied the knot?

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think it's time for a very honest conversation and try to get to the root of the issue, in addition to relationship counseling and possibly financial planning.

[–] ChexMax@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or they just agree to go Dutch 🤷🏼‍♀️ he can just say "I have $30 budgeted for this meal, anything over that needs to come out of your budget"

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 2 days ago

That's kind of like a bandaid on tissue that's threatening to necrotize. It can be done, but the actual issue needs exploration and excision.

My wife was bad with restaurants, groceries, and utilities before we lived together. I took over rent entirely, and made her responsible for the rest. Shockingly, she started buying less junk food, became more conscious about power and water use, and orders more frugally at restaurants