Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
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I’m a stranger in the internet so I can’t say for sure but this doesn’t sound like a normal loving relationship.
From the outside it sounds like your partner pushes you away and/or says mean and hurtful things and then changes tune and tells you how much they love and care about you. Someone that loves and cares about you wouldn’t put you through that constant roller coaster on purpose.
If my armchair judgement is correct and if this behavior is purposeful then I would say your partner is boarder line emotionally abusive. If I’m correct but it’s huge emotional swings outside of your partner’s control then your partner might have problems that need treated with therapy and maybe medication.
Again, stranger on the internet, not a therapist.
thank you so much!! He has been depressed with anxiety lately
As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, I can assure you that neither of these things justify being an asshole to people who you supposedly care about.
While you can be supportive, it's still on him to put in the actual work to manage these and any other issues (getting professional help as necessary) in order to best hold up his end of the relationship and deserve you. If he isn't ready and willing to do that, he isn't ready and willing to be in the relationship.