Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
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3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
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5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
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He's not ready for whatever you have and a relationship is about how two people live their lives together and whatever that looks like for them.
What it looks like for him - at least right now - is different to whatever situation has been happening.
If it doesn't change he will continue to be in this state, for at least a couple of years, if I know people.
Now if it's a change into something you're immediately comfortable with - great - you guys want to change along the same lines into what suits you both better.
But if it's a change you don't want to make - you're both not in the same place.
No one who doesn't know you intimately can tell you if those are changes that will be good or bad, or worth sticking through - that's up to you - but he has been really very clear about what he wants and needs here, and it's up to you to decide if it's worth it or not.
There's a world where you stick through it and it comes up roses, there's a world where you find someone who is exactly in the right place for you and it works out better. the opposite of both worlds is also possible
thank you so much, I’d break up for that reason but he doesn’t want me to leave
You make your own decisions, though.
fair enough
A healthy relationship is a two yes, one no situation. You both have to want to be there and actively choose to be there (yes) for there to be a relationship. You each have your own full agency to choose to leave, and the other person does not get to make your choice for you. Him not wanting you to leave doesn't mean you aren't allowed to.
thank you, i just don’t wanna hurt him