this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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Post memes here.
A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads by means of imitation from person to person within a culture and often carries symbolic meaning representing a particular phenomenon or theme.
An Internet meme or meme, is a cultural item that is spread via the Internet, often through social media platforms. The name is by the concept of memes proposed by Richard Dawkins in 1972. Internet memes can take various forms, such as images, videos, GIFs, and various other viral sensations.
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I just calmly and smoothly switch to shop lifting at large chain stores (not local businesses) if selfcheckout starts wasting my time shrugs
If the self checkout spazzes put and needs me to get an assistant, that's the last thing I scan at the checkout. Lady comes over, overrides the fail, I say thank you, pay for the stuff while she's standing there, and put it back in the trolley with the stuff I didn't scan yet. You see, I was so frazzled and confused by the disruption that I forgot I still had things to scan. Plausible deniability, I never hid anything, it was all out in the open, and the lady was just standing there. If she mentions it, then I can just resume scanning those items and pay for them too. This has not happened in several dozen grocery trips.
I just get so anxious and confused so easily!
I make it a point to steal a little something every time I'm forced to use these.
Big box hardware stores appear to have zero people to check you out anymore, so they all give me something every time I shop.
Pro tip: they won't bother if you dont steal anything expensive. Additionally, there are cameras in the ceiling that are working with the register to see what is in the cart and determine if you have scanned everything. Buy a cardboard box (cheapest thing that works). Lay it over your cart. Put stuff under it and now the system cant see your cart to determine if you stole something. A GFCI outlet or two never seem to go noticed.
Just a warning - they might actually notice you doing it, and are waiting on you to steal a certain dollar amount (link shows thresholds for different US states) before they come after you so they can charge you with a felony.
A 1970's law saying it's a felony if people steal more than $199 (cumulatively) is insane. How many for-profit prisons are in New Jersey again...?
Steal ~~$799 (in CA, as far as I know)~~ [Edit: its actually $949, $950 is felony] then wait out the statute of limitations, and repeat 😎
So don't go over $500 in any state but New Jersey. Cool!
I usually bring a festive sombrero to block the cameras.