Like, the periodic tables mapping isn’t arbitrary or alternate.

Neither the biology nor culinary mappings are arbitrary, they have their rhyme and reason. Also biology would be the alternate one? Because the culinary definitions were definitely first.

Did you know that there's quite extreme disagreements on what metals are? Chemists will tell you one thing and not be particularly unified in their response around the topic of semimetals, while astrophysicists have a very simple definition of metals: Anything that has more protons than helium.

Who is right? This has nothing to do with metaphysics (I've read a bit down the thread) as in "what is beyond physics, god, and stuff", but how we interpret our (scientific) observations. Neither definition of metals is more correct than the other, they're both maps drawn by scientists caring about vastly different things. Neither side says that the other is wrong -- they just don't care for it.

Back to the periodic table itself: Defining elements by protons has quite some predictive power but at the same time it's a vast oversimplification of what actually goes on, ask any quantum chemist. It is rooted in quite hard science, but that doesn't make it ground reality. Actual reality is something we can't observe because to observe anything we first have to project it into our minds. All perception is modelling: Ask any neuroscientist. Or, for that matter, Plato.