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my ex was not who he said he was, am i in the wrong? (piefed.social)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by cutebc24@piefed.social to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

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I (20f) was 13 and dated a 33 year old, jake. Here’s the thing, though. It happened 7 years ago but i still feel a bit bad for it.

We met online and jake started talking to me a lot and liking my posts on instagram. I ended up joining his small discord server that he didn’t use a lot.

He never told me his age but he would always show a picture of a teenage boy on his posts and send them to me, who looked about 14. Plus, when i confessed that he looked cute (or the boy did) and i said i liked him, he said yes when i asked him out.

things went well in the relationship. He was attentive to me, funny, I really liked him despite being young, so just puppy love.

he knew i was 13, i didn’t know his age. He, after a month of being romantic and calling me cute, wanted to get back with his ex (m20s) and told me that he was actually 33.

He felt bad and said he shouldn’t be talking to minors my age, and also said that I groomed him and tricked him into going out with me. He also said he said yes because he felt bad because i “guilt-tripped” him even though he never showed his real face and didn’t tell me he was freaking 33.

Edit: thank you for your support!! 🙏 🫂

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[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I totally understand the feeling of guilt you have. You trusted him, you were open, and this obviously wouldn't have happened the same way without you.

But also, the guy was 33. You were 13. He had a huge upper hand in manipulating you, and that's clear given that not only did he lie about his age, but also that he gaslit you after.

I don't even hold 20 year olds accountable for the stupid things they do. But 33? That's the age where you've seen enough of the world to know what you're doing.

[–] cutebc24@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

thank you 🫂 he said i lied to him too when i was honest and he said “i don’t think it’s ok to guilt trip people and lie :/“

[–] CraigCabbage@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Projection at its finest.