I have tried them all, I just use XMPP through Cheogram (mobile) and Movim (desktop in browser) now. I have had success getting my contacts to switch since I never bugged them about any other messengers before. Plus I am willing to follow through with ultimatums of abandonment and they are well aware of that.

If you have any actually normal friends (no offense) you're going to have to use the regular phone network. XMPP has the best phone network gateway, I've bought like five Soprani.ca numbers. No it doesn't encrypt the regular phone network.

Delta/Arcane Chat is cool but due to everyone basically being an admin-level user in the chat, I strictly use it as a home base for real homies. I mainly use it to run one gajillion bots, check my emails, run Mastodon/Misskey fork accounts in one location, and send stuff/WebXDC apps to myself.

You can't seriously replace the social media monopolies or the phone network yet. I even run some Telegrams (don't make fun of me) and control them with the Delta Chat bot. People just need to get used to "backing up" their social graph with secure options, and not just saying whatever pops into their head outside them