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What is everyone's opinion on how ADHD affects people's desire to have kids? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 3 days ago by ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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When I was a kid, I was punished excessively. My diagnosis occurred when I was 25. In the 1980s, I got paddled every day at school and was punished constantly. It made me feel rejected, leading to rejection sensitivity dysphoria. By the time I was 9, I decided life was not worth living and have not changed my mind at 45 years old. I would never have a child to suffer the way I did. I still feel like nobody wants me around. My mental health issues have severely impacted my quality of life. I'm just now figuring out that this might be why I have never felt my clock tick, or thought for even a second of my life that I wanted kids.

Has this happened to anyone else? I wonder how many in this forum might have decided against parenthood due to ADHD effects without realizing it.

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[–] Wojwo@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Well I didn't get diagnosed until after I had kids and they started to get diagnosed, then my wife finally got diagnosed... So yeah it's all 5 of us. But I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a kid. So my wife jumped on it early. With each kid she used a program called "Children Learn Reading" to teach them to read before kindergarten. Then she got them in a program called "Let's Make Music" and had them playing piano by 5 or 6. Those combined with meds, has made my kids lives so much better than what I had. I was the lazy or dumb kid that wouldn't apply himself. My kids are seen as bored geniuses, that aren't challenged enough. The same behavior that got me yelled at and kept in from all the recesses, gets them self directed study and more interesting courses.

Everything is about optics.

[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Honestly: Good job!

[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's an incredible difference. Makes you wonder just how many of us could have done much more if people were educated properly.

[–] Wojwo@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I lucked out and got my dad's "who the fuck are you to tell me who I am?" genes. So I rebelled by succeeding. And then scored another huge lucky win by bumping into my wife at a party and then working on her for 3 years to finally admit that she loved me. Those kids are going to have amazing lives and it's 99 percent their mom being fantastic.