this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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What is everyone's opinion on how ADHD affects people's desire to have kids? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 3 days ago by ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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When I was a kid, I was punished excessively. My diagnosis occurred when I was 25. In the 1980s, I got paddled every day at school and was punished constantly. It made me feel rejected, leading to rejection sensitivity dysphoria. By the time I was 9, I decided life was not worth living and have not changed my mind at 45 years old. I would never have a child to suffer the way I did. I still feel like nobody wants me around. My mental health issues have severely impacted my quality of life. I'm just now figuring out that this might be why I have never felt my clock tick, or thought for even a second of my life that I wanted kids.

Has this happened to anyone else? I wonder how many in this forum might have decided against parenthood due to ADHD effects without realizing it.

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[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I didn't figure out I had ADHD until my kids started getting diagnosed with it. All 3 have it, and I swear they got it worse than I did.

But growing up was fucked. Getting punished and beaten on the daily while everyone around me was getting away with murder was frustrating to say the least.

[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So you still wanted the kids? It didn't cause you to hesitate? I knew very early that I wouldn't have kids. Could be because my mother told us that kids ruin your life, though.

[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah. They're great... but it feels like we're doing way more work than most parents. I feel that school bullying has had a 90% reduction since I was a kid and that's with my kids going to the same school I did.

The doctors told my wife that her biological clock was ticking way faster than most, so I had 3 kids by age 30. The doctors were a bit reluctant to give me the snip at 31 before they realised I was 3 kids deep already.

[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

Congrats and good luck!