this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 56 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not hopeless, just overcompensating from the freedom.

OP needs to strongly consider whether he:

  1. actually likes doing those things, or
  2. is just entranced/aroused by being able to do things that would be otherwise forbidden by his family and culture.

Either is OK, but when being the source of that behaviour, the former is a lot more healthy than the latter.

[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

But point #1 and #2 are the same.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Yes, but in many to most cases, no.

People from suppressed cultures/families who suddenly experience freedom have a tendency to go after anything that spits in the face of their former repression, purely for that freedom. As in, they are motivated by the freedom to choose, and not by whether or not they actually like the act in question.

Which is why the former is much more psychologically healthier. It rarely generates regret, whereas the latter has the potential to generate regret once they “get [it] worked out of their system” and realize that they don’t like the act itself - and may actually hate it or how it’s changed them - and have only been attracted to their ability to choose it or its ability to be offensive in the context of their prior repression.