this post was submitted on 04 May 2025
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House hunting. I've brought a net and a rifle, and need nothing else other than bait. Luckily I know what houses hunger for: money. I've thrown a pile of into the road, and now I wait with abated breath for a rogue house to spring my dastardly trap and take the bait. I can practically taste that Victorian brick.
Watch out for new builds mate, they're flimsy but light and nimble
I almost caught one of those slippery bastards, but he slapped me with an energy efficiency placard and hopped off behind a variable maintenance fee