this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2023
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Feminism
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It's definitely slowly improving, but a walk through the toy section of my store has still saddened me on occasion. And I live somewhere that would be globally considered generally "socially progressive".
It will, but it's also going to be pretty obvious to them after a while that the girls at school always play dress-ups with dolls at lunchtime while the boys are playing with toy cars and trucks. Kids start really getting the hang of categories, associations and social cues with language development from around age 3 and up.
They especially will notice when one kid (or worse, adult) says "you can't play with that/them, that's for !" Or "I'm not going to do , that's for \s!". Then they have to try to figure out what makes their family so different and why they aren't like others, which can lead to some interesting hypotheses as a young child.
I vividly remember some boys objecting to singing in class at school when I was very young (6?) because singing was for girls. The teacher asked them what they thought about the most famous male singer of the time, and they uncomfortably shuffled around and grumbled as a response. It was clearly conflicting information for them, and I think it might have been the first time I encountered someone openly challenging gender expectations.
I've been seeing it in fashion, too, with children's clothes not being as clearly gendered. There's the whole muted colors/beige trend that's easy to make fun of, but looking closer also reveals quite a bit more undermining gender norms in clothes. My daughter wears a lot of dresses (obviously a girly clothing item) with things that are traditionally associated with boys: rocket ships, robots, dinosaurs, heavy construction equipment like dump trucks and excavators, etc. I happen to have a lot of men's clothes that use floral prints or similar design elements, and my toddler son has some of those shirts, too.
I know I have a long road ahead of me on parenting through how to navigate societal gender norms (or even other norms that don't always make sense), but I remain hopeful and optimistic that the environment will be relatively kind and will provide plenty of role models of all types to work with, and draw lessons/examples from.
I'm not going to win every fight, of course, but I'd like to think I'll be able to choose my battles and at least provide some guidance in the right direction, and shield my kids from the worst of the worst examples.