this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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I grew up in the same culture acceptance of these terms, but I've grown to think of it like this. If I wouldn't say it to the group of people it's describing, using it to describe other people carries the same meaning.
You can't separate the term from the group of people it's offending. So using it as an insult reinforces it's meaning and acknowledging why it's offensive. So it's equally wrong.
It's the same reason I don't say the n-word or why I wouldn't use the derogatory terms used for trans people even in a joke.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't say it anymore, and I don't use the "N" bomb, or the "F" bomb. I despise those people. I go out of my way to treat everyone with kindness and respect, until they prove they don't deserve it. I'm just sarcastic sometimes. I'm just saying I've been hardened to that language, but I don't like it, and I don't use it, and I don't associate with people who do.
My father was a rabid, irrational, to the point of mental illness racist, homophobe, misogynist, you name it. Everything that went wrong in his life was someone else's fault. The man couldn't have a 5 minute conversation without saying the "N" word. It wouldn't surprise me if I learned he was in the Klan, but he's been dead 13 years. This is because he was a malignant narcissist, who couldn't admit fault. A person that I hated most of my life, so I fortunately wasn't indoctrinated into the Cult of Hate.