this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
751 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

15827 readers
887 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Right-wing Christian podcaster caught in homosexual tryst in 3... 2... 1...

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Finally a conspiracy theory that's fun. Unfortunately, I keep going through the airport body scanners, but for some reason I'm not feeling gay

[–] phlegmy@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

They don't put the gayification beam on at all times, otherwise it would be too obvious.

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 7 points 3 days ago

Try going through with a cute moustache, maybe thats the right combo

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Are you thinking about big hard dicks when you do it? I feel like to be turned gay by the body scanner you gotta be thinking about giant throbbing cocks.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago

It makes me think about a well-lubed twink, so I guess I'm straight.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 points 3 days ago

Punish me senpai scanner

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 1 points 3 days ago

Fuck you. You know those are optional, right?

When you let them violate you, you're a scab against all of us.