this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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I can see removing the r-word. I can kinda see removing the f-word, but it is being reclaimed by some (my ex, for example.) the b-word seems overkill. it's commonly reclaimed, used in many different contexts, and part of common non-slur phrases. examples:
yes, it can be used as a sexist slur, but "queer" and "gay" can too. language is nuanced, regexes are not.
It's as commonly abused as it is "reclaimed", in a male-dominated space like this it's more abused than reclaimed. One could make the same arguments for the n-word and black people reclaiming it, thing is online there's no way to know who is black, who is a woman, and who is a white man who claims to be a black woman online so he can use words like that and get away with it.
Online moderators are not suited to identifying and organizing a system of n-word and b-word passes to people through verification so we have to assume many, many uses would be in bad faith by people not part of those groups in a potentially hurtful or offensive way.
I want to note I didn't implement this and have no power over it but I do find it kind of shocking since opening an account here how often people use the b-word online casually and I do not think most of them are women.
Queer and gay I'd say have been completely reclaimed. The last time you saw "gaaay" as an insult in popular culture was probably the 2000s decade in young adult media. Whereas to this year you see new media of some angry man screaming "you b-word" hatefully at a woman being made all the time. Men just know it's something you call a woman or girl when you're angry at her, men just know it's a sexist slur, a softer one that the w-word for promiscuous but one just the same used in anger to attack women. When that stops happening, when it's not in media when a generation of young men think it's no longer acceptable even in anger to do that perhaps there might be a point to what you say.
I admit it can make following things confusing at times. I kind of wish it censored it in the form of B or something to indicate which one it was.
I also agree regexes are not nuanced, I've seen false positives based on some pretty obscure ones. But it's policy set by the admins of this instance so the choice is basically accept it or move to another instance like lemm.ee.
really depends on the community. "Queer" (particularly pluralized) is still used as a slur in the Midwest and Deep South of the US. I got called "gay" as as an unironic expletive literally two days ago online. "fake and gay" is a current 4chan meme.
I'm guessing you mean how often you infer people trying to use the b-word here, since it's redacted? but what do you mean "casually?" casual could have two meanings, e.g.
A. "she's such an uptight [b-word]"
B. "sorry for being such a [b-word] earlier"
casual use of language like A would be shocking. usage like B I don't find shocking at all. again, maybe it's a cultural/generational difference, but B doesn't really feel sexist in most uses - it's semantically bleached.
an illustrative example of semantic bleaching is the term "raw-dogging." this used to rather graphically refer to having unprotected penetrative sex. however among gen z it's more commonly used to mean undergoing an experience without the comfort of any conveniences, e.g.
"my headphones broke so I had to rawdog the whole flight to London 💀"
"bro rawdogged the whole exam without a calculator"
maybe my experience is different because again, as a woman, I hang out less in male-dominated spaces. but I imagine this varies from instance to instance. like, blahaj.zone is probably pretty safe from sexist use of the b-word by the nature of its members.