this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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People in this thread are fucking wild... In college, and before I met my wife, I'd just get fucking trashed at house parties and then try to hit on anything with a pulse. Now, I'm not some "lady's man," and I didn't pull them all, but it definitely worked well enough to get me laid when I wasn't dating someone.
Shocker - never maced or reported for sexual assault?
Yeah, but you got invited to parties in the first place.
Quit your doomin'. This isn't complicated. Parties aren't like they are in movies, it's literally just getting drunk on a couch. Don't let the social anexity win. Just invite everyone you know to yours and tell them to invite who they know. As long as you meet someone new then your circle is growing. Friends of friends exist.
I literally had one friend like 7 years ago until I moved in with a barely functional alcoholic I knew from playing magic. He was an asshole with creepy friends, but those friends were dominos that led me to a few bad relationship, and eventually my wife.
About 6-9 years ago, I made an acquaintance through events in town who created a unique meetup group. I think he was in grad school, he wasn’t from the area originally. He started a group of people meeting at a bar called The “BarNameHere” Experiment via a mailing list and just invited people and told them to bring a friend. Sometimes there was a theme or a game. Sometimes 5 people showed up sometimes 30.
Anyway, it felt like the perfect way to create your own friend circle by providing a place for people to meet new people etc. I guess you need some charisma to be that person but imagine dropping everything, moving to a new place, finding a chill bar you can get people to gather at, and literally just invite random people to bring their friends and make it happen every week. It’s an Experiment. Like can you create a friend circle out of nobody?
Other people in the thread discuss the concept of losing our “third-places”. And then some people are out there are creating third places for themselves out of thin air. Not easy to do but it’s a concept that can work like you said: