this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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People in this thread are fucking wild... In college, and before I met my wife, I'd just get fucking trashed at house parties and then try to hit on anything with a pulse. Now, I'm not some "lady's man," and I didn't pull them all, but it definitely worked well enough to get me laid when I wasn't dating someone.
Shocker - never maced or reported for sexual assault?
Try this not at a house party.*
I'm lucky that I met my fiance after being loaned to her as a sex toy by someone I met on OKC
* What I mean here is that there aren't many "third-spaces" as the neo-urbanists call them, where it is assumed to be appropriate to approach anyone romantically. Workplaces have HR, and contrary to Pornhub there aren't many chances for romantic connection in your home.
My hypothesis is that having a place where people go to see and be seen is essential to the human mating process.
Well, that's one hell of a meet-cute.
It was at a kink convention. We got a round of applause from a man in the Sex Room, and we embraced him. Then as we smoked outside an old lady said "Oh, aren't you a cute couple" and we had to explain that we'd just met.
Before I went to University one of my parent's University friends told me that my dad got laid a lot back in the day. Like looked me in the eye for emphasis when he said,"A LOT!" I didn't have the best relationship with my dad, but before I went off to higher learning, I broached the subject with him. "How?" was my basic question. He looked a little confused and just said,"I just asked them if they wanted to fuck. Most said no, some said yes." It's not complicated.
ah that was the days before asking such a question might catch you a "sexual harassment" complaint.
Survivor bias is a hell of a drug
It's not survivor bias when others commit suicide. This isn't arbitrary luck selecting some to have good lives, that's just doomerism, self loathing and anexity talking.
Yeah, but you got invited to parties in the first place.
Quit your doomin'. This isn't complicated. Parties aren't like they are in movies, it's literally just getting drunk on a couch. Don't let the social anexity win. Just invite everyone you know to yours and tell them to invite who they know. As long as you meet someone new then your circle is growing. Friends of friends exist.
I literally had one friend like 7 years ago until I moved in with a barely functional alcoholic I knew from playing magic. He was an asshole with creepy friends, but those friends were dominos that led me to a few bad relationship, and eventually my wife.
About 6-9 years ago, I made an acquaintance through events in town who created a unique meetup group. I think he was in grad school, he wasn’t from the area originally. He started a group of people meeting at a bar called The “BarNameHere” Experiment via a mailing list and just invited people and told them to bring a friend. Sometimes there was a theme or a game. Sometimes 5 people showed up sometimes 30.
Anyway, it felt like the perfect way to create your own friend circle by providing a place for people to meet new people etc. I guess you need some charisma to be that person but imagine dropping everything, moving to a new place, finding a chill bar you can get people to gather at, and literally just invite random people to bring their friends and make it happen every week. It’s an Experiment. Like can you create a friend circle out of nobody?
Other people in the thread discuss the concept of losing our “third-places”. And then some people are out there are creating third places for themselves out of thin air. Not easy to do but it’s a concept that can work like you said:
Selection bias combined with it becoming easier to basically not talk with people.
Right?! Fucking Lemmy, man... Reading this posts makes me realize why these guys can't get a date! lol
I've never had an issue getting laid, and I'm not attractive or rich. I am lean and 6ft, but that's not nearly is important to women as Lemmy thinks it is. It's really about just talking to people.
I've never ever had an issue striking up conversations with people. From what I have seen in this thread and others, LOTS of Lemmy users do have issue with talking to people in real life. lol