Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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[vent] waking up is hard (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by captainjaneway@lemmy.world to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I posted this in the wrong meme community. Reposting here.

I'm AMAB who has always felt a little uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm decently comfortable occupying my body, but I do wish it was easier/more acceptable to transition. I had a dream last night that I was at a doctor's office and I was starting HRT. It has put me in a funk all day.

To be honest, I consider myself fluid enough to continue identifying as a man to anyone but myself. I just wish I could live two lives. Or go back and make the decision to transition when I was younger. I am a stereotypical guy: hairier than not, chubbier than not, deep brow, gnarled hands, etc. I don't really think I could ever feel truly "woman enough" to feel comfortable trying out the other side of the gender spectrum. I've tried growing my hair, piercing my ears, and wearing a teeny bit of eye liner, but it just never looked right on me. I just looked a bit weird.

I'm venting here to hopefully deal with the funky vibes my dream gave me. I've never been this open with any audience: virtual or physical. So, apologies if this is coming off a bit transphobic in any way.

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[–] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I did my best to read the gender dysphoria bible during some of my work meetings and - for better or worse - I do fulfill a lot of the cliches illustrated in it. Even as a teen, I occasionally wore makeup, painted my nails, etc. I didn't really feel comfortable around my peers. I'm guilty of sleeping as much as possible to kind of live in the fantasy.

All that being said, I have so much internalized transphobia (as someone else pointed out) and I'm deeply entrenched in this life as AMAB. If I could guarantee I would love myself as a trans woman, I might consider it. But I feel somewhat confident that my inability to pass and my shame make the idea transitioning overwhelmingly difficult. I can't shake the feeling that I'm maybe fetishising the experiencing (despite reading the subsection "Consider That It’s Rarely 'Just A Fetish.'"). It's nice to talk about it nonetheless.