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https://www.scienceabc.com/eyeopeners/how-do-fabric-softeners-work.html

It was created so that when you dried clothes outside (especially cotton) they didn't get crunchy. The fibers tend to freeze an interlock microscopically when they dry. It coats the fibers and makes them not stick together.

When mechanical dryers became the norm, they needed a new reason, so the called out static. And in some climates, dryer static can be a bit of a pain. Dryer balls supposedly help with this, but I can't find any reasonable data to back that up, and that's just the kind of thing we're confirmation bias over.

Softener can/will build up on the fabric. It can discolor bright whites.

I think the worst of it is:

• if you use it on towels or anything meant to absorb water, it seriously dampens that ability
• it builds up in the nooks and crannies of the washer and it's hard to clean off,
• it's expensive
• for mechanical drying in moderate climates, it does little more than add smell.
• some people have allergenic reactions to it