this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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There is no such thing as a Stupid Question!
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University will still be your best bet. Plan an extra day there for studying then find a study group for one of your subjects. That way you have an easy in to talk to some people. Then simply ask someone to hang out after the study group is done. Existing groups might even invite you.
Depending on where you live, just walking around at night can also work. When I was a young adult we would just hang out outside somewhere. And I still see groups of people hanging out at similar or even the same spots, so the practice didn't die out.
Common spots are near parks, clubs, or public places in cities. Outside of cities anything with parking spots, so gas stations, mountain tops, train stations. Especially if you are into cars or motorcycles it will be easy to get talking.
Obviously if it's not safe in your area use your best judgement.
Even if you aren't sporty, you can still pick one up. Doesn't matter how old or unfit you are. If you think it's fun, just join. The amateur scene is usually super welcoming to newcomers because lack of players/members is usually their biggest concern. Especially for more obscure sports. You can even pick something that doesn't require physical fitness. I haven't tried it myself but something like disc golfing doesn't seem like you need to be fit for.
But I too was very out of shape and just picked up surfing in my mid 30s. I fall a lot but no one cares that I am bad. So not being sporty/fit is a bad excuse to not take up a sport.
This is hard since I study CS. It's a pretty individualistic setting where people usually study by watching videoclasses and doing lone projects. The study group is usually the clique you make on the first month of classes. Ever since my first two cliques dissolved as people dropped out I found myself pretty much stranded alone on academical matters.
I live in Brazil and the night is scary. Parks are dominated by the homeless and addicts. Gas stations are usually inhabited by conservative folk I'm far too queer to mingle with (this entire country but the southeast is basically a red state). No metros here and the bus station is also somewhat of a dangerous place at night.
On sports, school was already a nightmare. Always picked off last, didn't have reflexes, didn't even have the strength to throw the ball to score on basketball. Maybe martial arts. They're usually cool.
Thanks for your reply.