this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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You sound like someone with undiagnosed ADHD.
Possibly. Never diagnosed officially but a doctor suspected ADHD when I was a kid. My mom never followed up since back in the 80s being weird or different wasn’t as acceptable as today.
As an adult my wife suspected autism as well and I pretty much hit all the buttons for it. Don’t really care to investigate further currently, as it’s not like I can stop being me and an official diagnosis could cost me thousands of dollars.
If you're not struggling with it, there's no reason to treat it. Everyone's a little different, you can't pathologize individuality.
It's absolutely a struggle (not the caffeine specifically, but... living in a dysfunctional world), my brain is a mess and my focus is terrible. A combination of caffeine, GABA, and 5-HTP keeps me functional. Without those and some sleep I can't focus on anything.
I'm generally doing pretty well, though live with a constant low level of anxiety and constant level of some noise in my head (usually some random song stuck on repeat all the time, everytime I wake up, and all day if nothing else is happening). I've detoxed on caffeine in the past to confirm it wasn't stimulant related, unfortunately it's just my brain at work.
Granted, I'm lucky in some ways. My hobbies lean toward technical/nerdy stuff, I pretty much only read, play video games, work out physically, and tinker with random emulation and tech hobby projects. I work in IT and there's nothing better than getting hyperfocused on an issue to solve, and I'm fixated on things like problem solving and power efficiency. It's been pretty good for my career, though my social life is non-existent and I'm not good at maintaining connections with people. I'm lucky I met my wife and she likes me (she's awesome).
I'm glad you've got a few tricks and assets to stay on top of it, at least. A better social life is on everyone's list, these days it must be said.
I should look into those supplements you mentioned for my wife and kid, they sound promising at first glance.
I don’t actually feel too strongly about the social life. Wife and I are both introverts and enjoy our own and each other’s company fine. I had friends when I was younger (teens and 20s, I’m in my 40s now), but I would literally vanish for a month or three at a time until people would swing by just to make sure I was alive and drag me out of whatever I was doing. 😅
We’re happy as we are, and if I feel differently at some point, I’d probably be better off getting a dog than actually trying to make friends.