this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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Yeah. Not having retired family in hood health nearby is an issue. Someone had to move for their career. Or died. Or is too fragile. Or still working.
Nearly need polygamy for the economic certainty.
My wife and I have 6 month old twins… we’re both only children too. We are so lucky that my mother in law moved to our town as soon as we told her. Both of my parents are disabled, and cannot assist. Also, my wife getting the 12 weeks fmla / baby bonding was fine, but not great. I got nothing for paternity leave from my office and took two weeks of pto when they were born. It was and still is rough. If we didn’t have MIL around, we’d be in a real tough spot…
The lack of paternity leave and shortness of maternity leave in (assuming) the US is absolutely criminal. I was lucky enough to get 4 months, and that was not nearly enough to get my feet fully back under me before returning to work.
The fact that you had to take PTO just to bond with your kid is upsetting and frustrates me because those first few months are so valuable, and I feel like dads often miss out on so much.
Support networks are so incredibly important to parents. Don't have kids of my own, but am helping with my sibling's kids. Babysitting and just general support split with my parents. Thankfully, they don't need financial help but that'd be on the cards if it came to it.
Support networks like this, whether it's family, neighbours, friends or some combination is almost mandatory if you're not very wealthy. It takes a village to raise a child, after all.