this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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Possums with wings!
This is low key, terrifying.
Scary 😂
what's even scarrier is the idea that this might give possums... ideas.
Thinking takes brain wrinkles.
There's no thoughts in that head. Merely a marble.
And this is why no one will see the possum take over coming.
Our future overlords can be easily manipulated with Taco Bell and alcohol.
You won't even notice if it happens.
So far, it was working. The trail of possums stretched behind them. Where they’d just walked, possums sat hunched on the ground, munching contendedly. Further back, they slept.
The only problem was, they still had a long way to go.
“Taco check!”
“Three” “One” “I’m out”
“Me too”
Halfway across the field, and they were down to just four tacos left. A new cloud ptossums erupted over the hill, bearing down faster than the group before.
“Switch to soakers!”
They all carried Super Soaker 50s — courtesy of the Toys R Us — filled with jim beam. Carl and Anne also had the two pistols they’d found, loaded with Peppermint Schnapps.
“Remember to pump!” was all Carl had time to cry out before the swarm was upon them.