Lord of the memes

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It was a love story after all (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/lotrmemes@midwest.social

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[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The elvish council spent centuries debating why Sauron would do this, but the truth was he was interested in the tax deductions and a detailed income splitting scheme that harvested losses from Dwarven commodity futures to offset Mordor’s growing volcano habit.

Smaug was only ever in the Lonely Mountain to fully calculate wealth Sauron had sheltered there.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Does this mean Smaug was a tax auditor? No wonder nobody liked him.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Most dragons are misunderstood. Do you know how long it takes to count a mountain of jewels and coins, with at least one jewel worth entire kingdoms hidden in the stack?

You can't estimate the value by weight, it's a heterogenous mixture. It must be meticulously counted in only the way a dragon can.

It's no wonder they attack anyone trying to steal from the horde they're working on.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Drag wants to bone the nerd dragon

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 day ago

Good for you, drag. Good for you.