this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
658 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12542 readers
559 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 75 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Farva : Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.

Burger Guy : [into mic] Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Farva : What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

Burger Guy : No, I just told him that so he makes it good.

[into mic] Burger Guy : Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Farva : Yeah, thanks.

Second Burger Guy : Roger, hold the spit.

Farva : Gimme a pie... apple.

Burger Guy : Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva.

Burger Guy : Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?

Farva : Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?

Burger Guy : It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.

Thorny : Look, kid, he doesn't want it.

Farva : I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!

Burger Guy : Uhh, right. Beverage?

Farva : Gimme a litre o' cola.

Burger Guy : What?

Farva : A litre o' cola!

Burger Guy : [into mic] Litrecola? Do we sell litrecola?

Thorny : Will you just order a large, Farva?

Farva : I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola!

Burger Guy : I don't know what that is!

Farva : Litre is French for... give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!

[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

🍔That look like spit to you?

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Ah, fuck it

nooom nom nom

[–] AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 months ago

Hack the planet