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Image description: Red Riding Hood whipping the big bad wolf saying, "This is for Grandma!"
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
tails: A Place for Mastodon Posts
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A virtual community
Posts from Mastodon users, featured natively in a community, so you can view them without the need for them to be re-hosted or screenshoted, and reply to the original author and Mastodon respondents if you wish.
Has so far included content from Warsandpeas, Mr. Lovenstein, SMBC, Loading Artist, Low Quality Facts, nixCraft, ElleGray, and other interesting or provocative stuff I've random'd across on Mastodon.
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77
I can recreate similar results in any mirror with enough alcohol.
Secret Panel HERE 🙃 https://tapas.io/episode/3109210
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: A venn diagram captioned "i've been taking some notes". The venn diagram has two overlapping circles labeled "british people" and "ants" respectively.
british people:
- beans and toast
ants:
- can lift up to 5,000x their own weight
The overlapping areas:
- weird loyalty to their queen/king
- innate instinct to line up single-file and travel in a queue
- takes things that aren't theirs back to their colony
- love for crumbly pastries
(Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world)
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Image description: Sign in a grocery store that reads "Potatoes are behind you"
(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-27)
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(title added by lemmy community mod)
Image description: Two screenshot of Google searches from two different times. At 8:32 PM, the user searches "how to get a dragon scimitar mouse cursor" which shows a normal cursor. 11 minutes later at 8:43 PM, the user searches "how to get rid of a computer virus", now with a dragon scimitar cursor.
(Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world)
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Savor this Friday, for the Monday cometh for thee.
Secret Panel HERE 📆 https://tapas.io/episode/2549476
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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(title added by lemmy community mod. fun fact: baseless and castigate were both invented by Shakespeare, apparently)
Image description: lit.memery quoting aceofsquiddles:
Oh so when Shakespeare makes up words he's 'a literary genius' and 'the greatest playwright of all time', but when I do it I'm 'cheating at Scrabble' and 'ruining family game night'
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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THERAPIST: Tiny Legs Michael Jackson isn’t real. He can’t hurt you. TINY LEGS MICHAEL JACKSON:
(files.mastodon.social)
Image description: Michael Jackson’s Bad album placed above INXS’s Kick album making it look like Michael Jackson has tiny legs and is skateboarding
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
85
3am is when I think of my most burning questions
Secret Panel HERE 🔥 https://tapas.io/episode/2531024
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: a squirrel hugging a statue of a giant acorn
(Originally published earlier today on ohai.social)
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541
😂 Elon Musk just crawled from under a rock and discovered something that has been bothering people for years. It is just too funny not to share this one.
(files.mastodon.social)
Image description: Elon Musk & X @elonmusk • 42m Just bought a new PC laptop and it won't let me use it unless I create a Microsoft account, which also means giving their Al access to my computer! This is messed up. There used to be an option to skip signing into or creating a Microsoft account. Are you seeing this too? This is not cool of Microsoft.
(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-02-25)
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From now on when people say they like using vim I'll be looking for additional context clues
(cdn.masto.host)
Image description: product listing for the fun factory VIM vibrating wand, a hitachi magic wand type sex toy, in sunrise orange and midnight blue
(Originally published on broken.graphics: 2024-02-25)
89
Image description: 6 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. We are in the halls of United Nature. The speaker (a giraffe) states, "Looks like the humans will be extinct soon." 2. A dog asks, "But who'll give us dogs belly rubs?" 3. The giraffe says, "Looks like we have a contribution from the back." 4. A cat raises his paw. 5. The cat presses the button to use the microphone. 6. The cute cat says, "Go fuck yourself."
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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We gave you ten whole seconds to enjoy our website and this is how you repay us?
Secret Panel HERE 🔒 https://tapas.io/episode/2553125
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
91
Image description: pedro pascal ending his acceptance speech: im going to have a panic attack and im going to leave
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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188
Difficult for a job ad to have a red flag in every sentence, but not impossible apparently.
(mastodon.nz)
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.nz)
93
Image description: That's a nice ham you got here. It would be a shame if someone put an "S" in front and an "E" behind it.
(Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world)
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Image description: Underwater photograph of a large whale with a diver in the background, next to an article title that reads "WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE SHOULD SAY TO THE WHALES?" by Ross Andersen.
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world)
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146
The amount of Reddit Premium I accumulated over my time always makes me giggle
(files.mastodon.social)
(OP is Apollo dev, btw)
The amount of Reddit Premium I accumulated over my time always makes me giggle
Image description: Profile banner that says 177 years of Reddit Premium remaining
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: Moon Lander Is Lying on Its Side but Still Functional, Officials Say
(Originally published earlier today on med-mastodon.com)
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(title added for lemmy). original text:
😂
Image description: In the first panel, there is a text box that says "THE SPACECRAFT MADE A HARD LANDING AND CRASHED. WE LOST ONE BILLION DOLLARS! I WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED!!!" In the second panel, a scientist says "UM, SIR! I THINK I'VE FOUND THE REASON!" There is a computer screen in the background that shows code with the line "if isLanding && false (".
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: A road sign reads: Welcome to Scotland
The grass has been mowed up to the sign, and no further.
Caption: England can cut their own fucking grass
(Originally published earlier today on aus.social)
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(title added by lemmy community mod; 2 images replaced by one as not much support on lemmy for multiple images)
Image description: Thomas Kurian: We're introducing a new offering called Gemini Business, which lets organizations use generative AI in Workspace at a lower price point than Gemini Enterprise, which replaces Duet AI for Workspace Enterprise.
Sacha Sayan: Hey Thomas, can I pay for it with Google Pay in Google Wallet, which replaced Google Pay, which replaced Android Pay, formerly known as Google Wallet?
Sacha Sayan: If not we can jump on a call and discuss billing. I'll send you an invite on Google Meet, the enterprise Google Chat, previously Duo, which replaced Allo, the replacement for Hangouts, the rebrand of +Hangouts, which replaced Talk and Voice.
Michael Parker: Just to clarify do you mean you'll send an invite on Google Meet, or Google Meet (original)?
Sacha Sayan: Great question Michael. As a Google Workspace user, formerly GSuite, otherwise known as Google Apps for Work, previously Google Apps Premier Edition, aka Gmail for Your Domain, which would you recommend?
(Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world)
