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"Er... Mione..."

Lavender's shoulders fell as she watched Hermione turn to Ronald, surprise on her face. So... So it didn't work. It never worked.

God, it was a stupid idea. She didn't know why she'd thought it would work. She was just desperate. So many years and her attempts at even just making friends had failed completely and utterly. And now...

She felt tears slide down her face and whirled, running away. She couldn't let them see her cry. Let her think she was just a heartbroken girlfriend. A stupid teenage 'bimbo' who wasn't wanted.

Why? Why did she have to like someone that so clearly didn't care about her? Why did she have to try so hard for that person's attention? Why did she have to fall so very hard?

She didn't go far. She went to the nearest classroom, found a seat, and dropped in it so she could cry. She was a mess in seconds. Tears streamed down her red face, contorted with pain and heartbreak. Her dusky blonde curls fell around her face like a curtain.

This was it. She'd lost. Hermione and Ron would get together, and she'd be alone. Heartbroken and with only a couple friends who'd know she wasn't just some stupid boy-stealing homewrecker.

She was in love. Maybe she hadn't made the best decisions, but so what? Love made people do stupid things.

She heard footsteps and looked up. When she saw the mane of bushy brown curls, she froze.

Hermione had followed her. Why? What did she want? Was...

"Here to gloat?" Lavender asked, unable to help herself. She'd deserve it. She'd been a bitch to the other girl. She was so awful at conveying her feelings, in reality.

"Lavender, I-"

"Just go! I know you want him, and now he wants you, too!" Lavender shouted, half-sobbing her words. "God, I was so stupid, thinking I had a chance. Why choose me? I'm just a 'dumb bimbo', right?" She gave a bitter laugh in spite of herself.

"No, I... Lavender, I'm sorry. I was wrong," Hermione pleaded as she stepped closer. She sounded scared, for some reason. Worried.

"Wrong? For what? Choosing the boy you like?" Lavender said miserably. "It's fine. It's whatever. I know I'm nobody's first choice. You hate me. I know it."

"No, Lavender, I don't. You've got it all wrong!" Hermione insisted.

"What in the world could I possibly have wrong?!" She shouted back, looking at Hermione with defiant eyes.

A second later, their lips met. Lavender froze, stunned as she felt the awkward click of teeth. Their noses bumped together. It was wet from her tears, and also from Hermione's.

A bubble of warmth exploded inside her. An overwhelming torrent of happiness that washed out the melancholy. The confusion remained as she tried to process what was happening.

When Hermione pulled back, she met Lavender's eyes. Brown to hazel. "It was never about Ron," Hermione whispered.

Different tears slid down Lavender's face as she wrapped her arms around Hermione's neck. "It was never about Ron," she agreed quietly, pulling the girl she loved close to share their second kiss.

'Name?'

'Thaddeus Paddington the sixth' Dean replied.

"Did you check that one Cassius Julius?' She whispered.

'Aye.. I mean Yes Inquisitor.' Seamus (wearing a fake beard) replied in a posh oxford accent.

'Are you reeealllly sure, Cassius?'

(In a high born accent) 'Are you questioning the most noble house of Julius Inquisitor?'

'Heavens no. It's just that he looks familiar somehow' she replied squinting at Dean's face.

Dean nervously fingered the fake mole and fake moustache on his face.

'Let's bring in an expert.' Umbridge said. 'Mr Bartholomew Reginald Pemberton-Winslow could you come in for minute?

Fred Weasley entered the room with a comically large tophat, eye patch and monocle.

(Obnoxious Posh Upper class Accent) ' I was just.. er counting all my money like rich people like to do in the morning . How can I help you - Ah Mr Thaddeus how is your most noble father?'

Dean grinned.

Sorting Hat: “Let’s see here… Oh my, you’re a time traveler!”

Harry's eyes widened. How do you know that?

“It’s all here, inside your head. Oh, don’t be so surprised. Occlumency doesn’t work against me, I was created by Godric Gryffindor himself!”

Harry tensed. Are you going to tell Dumbledore?

“No, no, not at all. My job is to sort people, not reveal their secrets.”

Harry let out a sigh of relief.

“So, you went back in time to get your revenge on Dumbledore, did you?”

He raised me like a pig for slaughter. I’m going to make him pay.

“And… You want to date Daphne Greengrass?”

I have to marry her, to secure an alliance with the Grey faction.

“Merlin’s beard, she’s only 11 years old!” 

So am I!

“No, Mr. Potter, you are an adult in an 11-year old body.”

Look, I don’t need to hear this from you. Just sort me already.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Potter. I know just what to do with you. Better be… AZKABAN!”

The trio sat down in the compartment of the Hogwarts Express, and looked at the sleeping man.

"Who d'you reckon he is?" Ron asked.

"Professor R. J. Lupin," said Hermione, as Harry simultaneously said “Remus Lupin.”

"How d'you know that?" Ron questioned.

"It's on his case," she replied, pointing at the luggage over the man's head. She then turned a questioning gaze at Harry. “Do you know him?”

Harry nodded. “Oh yeah, I recognize him from the photos Hagrid gave me. And when I found some of my dad’s old letters, a lot of them mentioned a ‘Remus Lupin’. He was close with my Dad. Like, very close.”

Ron nodded, while Hermione narrowed her eyes. “What exactly do you mean, Harry?”

“I mean, he and my Dad would sometimes spend the night together.”

Ron’s eyes widened, while Hermione let you a high pitched squeak.

“And not just the two of them,” Harry added. “There were two other guys who were usually there too.”

Ron’s eyes widened. “Blimey!”

Harry nodded. “I know, right? Snape even tried to join them once, but my Dad wouldn’t let him.”

“When you say ‘spend the night together’, do you mean…?” Hermione asked, blushing.

“Let's just say that they were going at it like animals.”

After Harry went into the Great Hall for breakfast, he spotted Ron at his usual place at the griffindor table, chatting with some other griffindor girl Harry never saw before. Stranger still, the unknown girl smiled warmly at Harry and waved to him. "Over here, Harry, we saved you a seat!"

"Erm, excuse me, but... who are you?" Harry asked as he sat down. "Sally-Anne Perks?" the girl said in a dismissive tone, as if the question itself was ridiculous. "Your best friend?" she added, treating it as the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Ron asked him, probably noticing how pale Harry suddenly was. "Where's Hermione?" Harry asked, looking franticaly around the Great Hall, as if he hoped to suddenly spot her somewhere among the dozens of students. "Hermione?" Ron and Sally-Anne looked at each other in confusion. "Who's Hermione?"

Hello there, wanted to read smth good, I know this is not quite pairing that everyone loves, butaybe someone knows good ones?

I don't care if it nc17 etc.

Have a good day folks.

Also pref 20k+ but anything will do tbh.

Harry knocks on the large wooden doors to the headmaster's office. “Professor Dumbledore, could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Ah, Harry my boy, of course. How are your classes going?

“They’re going well. Professor Lupin has been teaching me how to cast the Patronus charm.”

Dumbledore beamed. “That’s wonderful to hear.”

“I wanted to ask you something about… About Tom Riddle’s Diary.”

The smile fell off of Dumbledore's face and he gave a tired sigh. “What is it you wish to know, Harry?”

“That Diary… it wasn’t a normal dark artifact, was it, sir?” Harry asked

Dumbledore tensed. “What makes you say that?”

“Is it really possible to store a memory in a Diary?”

“Well, it is certainly possible to place memories into inanimate objects.” Dumbledore deflected. “Just look at the numerous portraits across the castle.”

“But that’s just it!” Harry exclaims. “The portraits, they’re just impressions. They don’t think or act on their own. Not like Riddle’s diary did. And sapping Ginny’s life away to strengthen itself… A memory couldn’t do that.”

Dumbledore sighs heavily and deflates. “No, you are quite right, my boy. What that diary contained was much more sinister than a mere memory.”

“What was it, then?”

“I had been planning to tell you about it later, but I suppose I may as well tell you now. I believe that Diary was something called a Horcrux. I will not go into detail, but suffice to say, Tom performed a ritual to split himself.”

“A Horcrux…” Harry mused.

“It is the foulest of magical rituals, Harry.” Dumbledore warned sternly. “Do not go looking for information pertaining to them.”

“Of course,” Harry nodded quickly.

“Now, I must ask, what brought about this question?” Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

“Well, the thing is, Professor…” Harry began nervously, “I think Hermione may have created a Horcrux.”

Dumbledore choked on his lemon drop.

“Harry my boy," Dumbledore said after coughing up his lemon drop. "I’m sure I must have misheard you. Did you just say that you think Miss Granger created a Horcrux?”

“Hermione has been acting strangely all term. I remember when we got our schedules, Hermione had some overlapping classes. I thought it was just a mistake or something, and she wasn’t actually taking all those classes, but the other day, she mentioned something about a project she was working on for Ancient Runes. I asked around, and people say that she’s never missed a class. But Ancient Runes is at the same time as Divination! And she’s always in Divination with me and Ron. Somehow, she’s in two places at once! And then I remembered the Diary. And you just said that a Horcrux lets someone split themselves…” Harry took a deep breath and licked his lips nervously. “I think Hermione created a Horcrux so that she could take extra electives.”