Bad Movies

PAST AND PRESENT MEETS IN THIS LAND OF TURMOIL!

Narcotics agent Tom Wilde is given a second chance at life after being shot and killed. In a futuristic experiment, agent Wilde is returned to life as an Android Robot. He is sent on a very dangerous mission into the depths of the golden Triangle to rescue Sophie, a beautiful undercover agent who has been captured by the evil drug warlord Mr. Young and his inhuman creation the Vampire Beast.

Directed* by infamous Hong Kong director Godfrey Ho. Honestly, most of Ho's movies deserve to be featured on this sub, but Robo Vampire is really a special kind of bad.

*He grabbed an existing Thai movie, re-edited it, added extra scenes that he directed himself, and gave it a particularly cheesy English dub.

In the future, two slaves in a distant galaxy escape prison and crash-land on a strange planet. They meet Zed, whose hospitality attempts to hide the fact they are to be hunted for sport.

A fun B-movie directed by Ken Dixon and produced by Charles Band.

After her fiancé is killed and she is almost sexually assaulted, a woman becomes an avenger of the night, seeking to kill all the dangerous men who would harm women. Meanwhile, her fiancé's cop brother also seeks to bring down the biker gang associated with the murder.

A baffling movie for which the production started in the late '70s/early '80s. The project was eventually completed in the mid-'90s, but the movie wasn't released until 2005.

BEHOLD, THE PLEASURES OF THE FLESH

An anthology, based on the comics of the same name by Glenn Danzig, in which the erotic and horrific combine to create multiple ghoulish tales of bloodlust, murder, the occult and the forbidden.

It's kind of shocking seeing a couple of disabled people get beaten down, but it is worth it as it makes their journey feel real.

But the bad English dub, the one sound effect, and the fight scenes that happen every 5 minutes get laughably bad and boring.

I guess it lived up to the expectations with a name like "The Crippled Masters."

Ninjas are on a murder spree, and the helpless police call for help from a lieutenant who had once defeated them. Cüneyt Arkin dukes it out in this insane mishmash of incomprehensible filmmaking with ninjas, wizards, mummies, zombies and mad doctors.

Alright, this one is a little bit more obscure. Death Warrior is a Turkish actioner that will turn your brain into liquid and makes it drip out of your ears. Don't try to make any sense of it, just let it wash over you..

Diamond smugglers, (spy-) action, boobs, razorblade frisbees, perplexing sex scenes and a snake infected by deadly toxins from cancer-infested rats; Hard Ticket to Hawaii is definitely one of the more entertaining Andy Sidaris movies.

IMDb | Letterboxd

A fun, David DeCoteau directed, Terminator spoof. Less skin flick than you probably imagine it to be. Very stupid, but very entertaining.

IMDb | Letterboxd

I didn't like this one on my initial watch, but I have really warmed up to it on subsequent viewings. It just a bonkers movie. Italian cult actor Franco Nero basically plays Jesus.

IMDb link | Letterboxd link

An amazing and beautiful masterpiece.

Also see this cover on an accordian of a pivotal moment in the movie. Wonderful stuff!

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1754811/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_inappropriate

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087127/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2185022/

Produced by Harold P. Warren a fertilizer (and insurance) salesman who made the film as a result of a bet with screenwriter Stirling Silliphant. Acting? ho-hum. Storyline? So bad it appeared on both Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax. Music? Lousy. And yet, it forces laughter from viewers because it's endlessly bizarre. You can watch it on Tubi. Or check the commentary from MSTK or Rifftrax.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249516/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_foodfight

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0223268/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464073/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_7_nm_1_q_joshua%2520and%2520the%2520promised%2520land

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114658/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_2_nm_6_q_theodore%2520rex

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795416/

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2301045/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_1_nm_0_q_otaku%2520vampires