"Smoother than hammered bat shit"
"Slicker'n two eels fuckin in a bucket of snot"
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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In the South of England if something happened fast we say "like shit off a shovel!"
is that good luck or bad luck?
It’s bad if you’re not into dicks in your face, or good if you are
The southern simile
Australia has some good ones too.
Are you busy? "flat out like a lizard drinking"
Should we start? "I'm not here to fuck spiders"
"going off like a gumtree on a gas line " was a common saying in our school, but I'm not sure how wide spread that one is, referring to how damn flammable they are.
I also love that "a bees dick" is a valid unit of measurement on most construction sites.
Are you busy? "flat out like a lizard drinking"
That lizard sounds both extremely busy, and also... not busy at all!
You have to respect the originality of it, though.
Somewhat related: https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/02/british-comedian-inspires-linguistic-study-of-slang-synonyms-for-getting-drunk/
British English has an inordinate number of slang terms for being drunk, and given the right context and intonation just about any phrase can be made to mean "drunk"
Pissed, hammered, spannered, rat-arsed, bollocksed, badgered, smashed, away with the fairies, banjaxed, tired and emotional, battered, can't lie down without holding on, comfortably numb, drunk as a Lord/Judge, steaming, twatted, wasted, three sheets tut wind, lagered up, leathered, legless, pickled, off your tits/face/trolley, out yer tree, pissed as a fart, wellied, sayin hello to Mr Armitage, shit-faced, trollied, utterly carparked, etc, etc.
I see no problems with those "red necks"
I live in a very rural area too.
I don’t live in a rural area, and I don’t see a problem with them either!
Edit came up with my own southern saying: some people are sweller than the stomach of a contestant after a pie eating contest :D
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Cajun French is just bad French, but Cajun English is wild sometimes... "Mais, gotta make the groceries, me."
Southern Spain is also famous for sayings like these, some that come to my mind that I've heard from some friends:
"Hungrier than a snail on a glass" "Has less fat than a goat's knee" "More leg than a box of shrimps" "This is harder than sweeping the floor upstairs"
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