Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

MarioKart so hit and run or throwing things at other cars

Starting a cult and working people to death so that I have infinite money without having to do anything.

Edit: before you ask, no, it's not Rimworld or Cult of the Lamb

Edit 2: I wonder if anyone can guess the game

Edit 3 since it's been about 12hrs and no one guessed, it's The Sims.

Driving a Trabant through the desert. Occasionally shooting rabid bunnies.

War crimes.

Demolishing robots with a magnetic guitar-sword in beat with my rock playlist that plays in my heart.🤘

Gunning down helpess mutants, raiders, and scavengers who happen to cross my path in a nuclear wasteland. I think I might get the chair for mass genocide.

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

I'd probably be done in for EPA violations (Satisfactory).

Being too homosexual.

FFXIV

RimWorld... I'm not the type for cannibalism or human skin hats, but I do produce and sell a shitload of cocaine.

Oh, and I killed a child colonist, in this run. There was a bug in her age-up event, and the game would not let me proceed until she was... removed. I hate killing children, but since it was the end of the world without doing so, I give myself a pass this time

Destroying a planet solely to exterminate an invasive species in order to thwart the plans of a space pirate organization who were planning on leveraging the powers of said invasive species for nefarious purposes.

At least I saved the animals.

Crushing LEGO villains and collecting silver, gold, and purple studs.

Idk...Being a good lawyer? I was just playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

climbing a mountain and curing my depression

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

mass killing of scribble spiders? idk

Trespassing - have to catch that pokemon for Pokemon Go.

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

For apprehending or killing terrorists, and defusing their bombs in a hospital terror attack

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

Rimworld players:

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.

Killing mr house

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

Playing cards...? It was solitaire 😅

Killing the queen (chess)

I’m not sure I’m getting arrested. Me and a team of mercenaries were fighting another team of mercenaries over suitcases of intelligence. Seems like a state of war.

Playing poker with a non-standard deck.

literally what is there to say about geometry dash, it's a fucking square

Shooting myself in the head with a very realistic looking toy gun-- repeatedly (?)

Destruction of property and I guess kidnapping by rolling everything in earth into a giant ball

definately animal abuse.
i put 25 cows into a 1m² pen.