this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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anon gets an opportunity (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by can@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
36 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931
>>158997375 (OP) #
>psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing
>tell him I like doing "image edits"
>he asks if l ever post them
>l tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentialy seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously
>he gets really interested and asks to see
>show him over 100 original pepe edits
>he says he's seen the character before
>next session
>him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me
>they ask more about my memes
>show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views
>show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through
>get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment
>doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

all 38 comments
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[–] Donjuanme@lemmy.world 162 points 9 months ago (4 children)

And in other things you've read about on the Internet, I have a 14 inch penis.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 75 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Same. My wife had to get me a couple girlfriends just to give her a break.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 34 points 9 months ago (2 children)

We've all been there

[–] confi@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 9 months ago

you mean his wife, right?

[–] THEDAEMON@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

They are identical brothers.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 21 points 9 months ago

I hope you're proud of yourself.

[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Amateur. I've grown my penis 20 inches in the last 10 weeks and you won't believe how.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago

If you don’t physically split her in half on your comically long, literally firehose scale horsecock, do you even fuck?

[–] whereBeWaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 9 months ago

He just like me fr

[–] adj16@lemmy.world 100 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Yes everyone, you’re very clever. This is not a real story. But it’s very in-theme for the community and is pretty entertaining so

[–] omgarm@feddit.nl 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I am pretty sure all stories on 4chan (or at least /b/) are fake and non-heterosexual.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 9 months ago

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The funny thing is we literally don't and may never know if it's a real story or not. Weird shit happens all the time, someone's bound to post about it.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I know it's not real because I'm the sole proprietor of all pepe memes and write all green text.

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Well shit, hey there Mr Moneybags

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I mean, its not completely outside the realms of possibility. I imagine regular frogposters arent the kind of people to go into therapy and talk about frogposting.

The psychology of 4chan users would certainly be interesting if dissected by professionals actually speaking with the users in person, definitely a paper worth reading. Not saying that its real, just that its not completely impossible.

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, it actually is completely outside the realms of possibility? You could lose your license for ambushing a patient with 2 other psychiatrists who haven't been previously approved by the patient to receive a case history.

Like, I was amused by the story, but let's not pretend this is has any relationship with a factual reality

[–] porcariasagrada@slrpnk.net 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

no. additional psychiatrists is not a bad thing, and when studying an interesting case more psychiatrists is better. but the fact that anon was "ambushed" means either the story is fake or anon goes to a career oriented psychiatrist and not a patient oriented one.

lets not forget, psychiatrists are human too.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The text doesn't necessarily need to be a 1:1 recounting of events. If this weren't fake, what would have been said is "Anon, I have these two other psychiatrists who I would like to assist me, is it okay for them to be present during our sessions"

Still a shitty thing to do when they could have just asked before hand as to not put them on the spot.

[–] porcariasagrada@slrpnk.net 4 points 9 months ago

no serious psychiatrist would risk their patient trust pulling something like that. but there is a considerable percentage of non-serious psychiatrists out there.

but lets face it, a truly anonymous creator would be a career making case study.

[–] proper@lemmy.world 60 points 9 months ago (1 children)

“tell us more, anon” is a sentence I never thought anyone would ever say.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago

Definitely, but it is quite fitting that the first known one to say it is a psychiatrist working on a paper lmfao

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 59 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That psychiatrist's name? Albert Einstein. And then everyone clapped.

[–] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

I good surgeon. The best!

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 43 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Hatters will say this is fake

[–] zaphod@feddit.de 22 points 9 months ago

Hatters gonna hat.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

This is discriminatory. Now, back to my habadashery!

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

And homesexual probably

[–] Girru00@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Hatters gonna get mad

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Generally the additional psychologists could risk losing their license to practice or they could get served a malpractice lawsuit if they were to leak anything from the session, but I think it's still worth stating that if they are not your doctor and you are not their client then you do not necessarily have confidentiality and you should be worried about that until you have an agreement in writing.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

good advice if the story and all the characters weren't completely made up with no basis in reality

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 3 points 9 months ago

Good Advice regardless, tho

[–] LifeOfChance@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

It's the internet we all know they're lying. We just enjoy to play pretend with our minds.

[–] balancedchaos@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That happened.

[–] FractalsInfinite@sh.itjust.works 10 points 9 months ago

Yes, like most greentexts. Such is the the nature of a platform with no repercussions for posting

[–] Tja@programming.dev 2 points 9 months ago

Of all thing in the universe that didn't happen, this one happened the least.