Autism

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I feel this deeply for you because you're transitioning into adulthood during an exceptionally difficult time. It's even harder then when I graduated from high school in 1996. What I can say is that you've got youth on your side and plenty of potential.

May I ask about your skills and passions? Maybe with dedication and time you can parlay these skills into a career. When I graduated from college and the career that I had trained for did not work out, I had computer skills that I could fall back on. It was a long and hard crawl to make a living at and I've had better years and worse years. Right now, I'm underpaid but steadily employed in state government. I don't have much hope for advancement.

While nothing would make me happier then to be able to tell you it will be alright, alas I am unable because the future is and always has been uncertain But I can tell you that you have youth on your side. At 46, I'm at the age where age discrimination is a real thing

FWIW I’m almost 50… basically pre Asperger’s, etc. I was diagnosed a few years ago. Like a lot of guys my age, the people I’ve been drawn to as an adult, personally and professionally, have something going on. I stuck to my interests, had decent enough instincts about career options, and worked with people I gelled with. Consequently I’m relatively successful as a developer. Am I Ok? I deal with the same stuff as the rest of us… social burnout, masking, struggling to get chores done, guilt, yadda yadda. Most neurotypicals have their own shit going on, too. You can get to a point where you forgive yourself for being different. You have your own strengths and weaknesses. That’s it.

Yo, it'll be okay.