this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2023
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Technology

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Hi, we're a tech startup run by libertarian Silicon Valley tech bros.

We're not a newspaper, we're a content portal.
We're not a taxi service, we're a ride sharing app.
We're not a pay TV service, we're a streaming platform.
We're not a department store, we're an e-commerce marketplace.
We're not a financial services firm, we're crypto.
We're not a space agency, we're a group of visionaries who are totally going to Mars next year.
We're not a copywriting and graphic design agency, we're a large language model generative AI platform.

Oh sure, we compete against those established businesses. We basically provide the same goods and services.

But we're totally not those things. At least from a legal and PR standpoint.

And that means all the laws and regulations that have built up over the decades around those industries don't apply to us.

Things like consumer protections, privacy protections, minimum wage laws, local content requirements, safety regulations, environmental protections... They totally don't apply to us.

Even copyright laws — as long as we're talking about everyone else's intellectual property.

We're going to move fast and break things — and then externalise the costs of the things we break.

We've also raised several billion in VC funding, and we'll sell our products below cost — even give them away for free for a time — until we run our competition out of the market.

Once we have a near monopoly, we'll enshitify the hell out of our service and jack up prices.

You won't believe what you agreed to in our terms of service agreement.

We may also be secretly hoarding your personal information. We know who you are, we know where you work, we know where you live. But you can trust us.

By the time the regulators and the general public catch on to what we're doing, we will have well and truly moved on to our next grift.

By the way, don't forget to check out our latest innovation. It's the Uber of toothpaste!

#startup #business #tech #technology @technology

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[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 54 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wow. This is a Mastodon account posting to Lemmy and we are getting cross platform engagement and it's all working pretty seamlessly. This is the first time I've seen this kind of thing on Lemmy. The Mastodon users don't get to see the upvotes though, right? The @ thing when they reply is kind of annoying but it seems like a fairly easy fix to hide those when browsing from Lemmy.

[–] reev@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

It's pretty awesome, but generally Kbin does it even better in my experience. It's designed to be able to interact with both. Looking forward to the API!

[–] qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HeavenAndHell@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

so, sO, SO COOL

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It took longer than I care to admit to realize this was satire.

Which says something about the world and life.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I suspect Satire is indeed dead.

Wow. You just somehow accurately summed up the modern day result of late stage capitalism in one post. Nicely done

[–] neo@lemmy.comfysnug.space 19 points 1 year ago

I hate how accurate this is.

[–] 14mission@sfba.social 19 points 1 year ago (4 children)

@ajsadauskas @technology One factual point I'm not clear on--how exactly are Lyft/Uber getting away with operating unlicensed taxi services? Are they just ignoring the law but getting away with it because city governments are tech-enthralled? (But could, theoretically, bust every uber driver for operating a taxi without a license)? Or do they actually have some legal basis for not needing medallions?

[–] jrs100000@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

It totally depends of the jurisdiction. In some parts of the world calling up a ride sharing app with get you a totally normal taxi at normal metered taxi rates. In other parts of the world its pretty much they do it and nobody can stop them. A private citizen can pick up anyone they want and the laws all assumed that a taxi would have to find passengers and handle money in person. By the time politicians get around to doing anything about it they've already taken over the market and voters would take it personally if they had to go back to regular cabs.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because people don't hail them on the street when they're passing, they're not legally a taxi service.

So they don't need medalions, cab licenses or whatever the system is in that country and, more importantly, don't need to obbey the rules for taxi services both for the vehicle (most noteable the rules about the colors of the vehicle and in some countries even the kind of vehicle itself), clear transparent predictable upfront pricing, and for the actual cabbies (for example, in London they don't need to have "The Knowledge" - which is basically having memorized all the streets - which cabbies do have to have before they get a license or obbey any of the other legal requirements for licensing of the actual drivers that cabbies have) so operation is much cheaper.

From what I've seen they're generally operating under the local legislation of "rental driver cars" (i.e. cars rented with a driver) and the arrangement of getting, for example a Uber via their app, is treated in legal terms as a booking not as a hailing, even though it is pretty close in de facto terms to hailing a cab.

It took a decade for states to catch up on this loophole into providing the same service as a taxi services whilst not legally being one (as they're not hailed, they're "hired") made possible by smartphone technology, and by the time they did Uber and similar were so big that most (like Portugal, as mentioned by somebody else) just made those low-regulation quasi-cab services legal without converging the regulations for taxis with theirs (i.e. they simply legalized the competitive advantages that services like Uber got by finding a loophole in the law), and said legalizing of the much (much, MUCH) lower regulatory requirements on them whilst kepting taxi services high-regulation, maintained the uneven market playing field that had allowed the explosive growth of Uber and its ilk.

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[–] NuPNuA@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

They're not in the UK, they all have to be registered and lisenced here like any other minicab.

[–] lapingvino@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Portugal has the Uber law, all drivers have to be clearly indicated with a TVDE sticker and they need some basic qualification afaik. Also some taxi services double dip of course.

[–] XPost3000@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

Yooo Mastodon post on Lemmy let's goooo

[–] Blue_Jersey@fosstodon.org 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@ajsadauskas @technology

We are not just a startup. We are a mix of dreams, passions, and a ton of passionate slogans.

[–] vd1n@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

When we aren't drinking craft beer...

@ajsadauskas @technology
> By the time the regulators and the general public catch on to what we're doing, we will have well and truly moved on to our next grift

Fortunately, sometimes the grifters get justice served

https://decrypt.co/148288/lbry-token-plummets-file-sharing-crypto-project-shuts-down

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

You left out, "once we get the IPO, we're fucking right off with our billions."

[–] Default_Defect@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Sounds great! Please take all of my savings, my kids' college fund, and the money from mortgaging my house. I'm sure you'll put it to good use and I'll get any sort of return at all.

[–] pseudonym@mastodon.online 8 points 1 year ago

@ajsadauskas @technology

Torment Nexus (tm) now with an extensive library of add-on modules.

Installing "Uber of toothpaste"

@ajsadauskas @technology We're not an utter vaporware scam, we're an investment opportunity!

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] sweet@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Stavros is the best

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[–] Lemmylefty@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“It’s all on the blockchain now, so it’s not even us who’s doing it.

What are you gonna do, arrest me and these 7,000 graphics cards?”

[–] nyan@lemmy.cafe 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Well, I'm not sure about arresting a bunch of graphics cards, but under American civil forfeiture laws, they could be sued, sort of. "United States vs. Approximately 7000 Computer Graphics Cards" has a certain ring to it.

[–] Lemmylefty@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You just gotta put very tiny handcuffs on the fan blades.

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[–] atwerp@feddit.nl 5 points 1 year ago

This sounds just like every startup's pitch to venture capital firms :)

[–] magela@mstdn.games 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Idontoah@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Here's the source of that term. https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

Excellent article.

[–] gcvsa@mstdn.plus 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

@ajsadauskas @technology These guys are not "libertarians", at all. They are, in fact, the antithesis of libertarian. They are authoritarians who believe in liberty only for themselves.

[–] GarlicBender@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Seems like a fair description of many who would call themselves "libertarian", even if not the going definition.

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[–] CannaVet@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Michael was driving a car from a company that shows every private residence in the country. But it's also a company that won't let us show the car that takes those pictures. In fairness to them, it is their property. If you want to know what the company is, all you have to do is 'something' it."

  • Arrested Development Narrator
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[–] arctic@im-in.space 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

@ajsadauskas @technology don’t forget the fact that a good amount never turn a profit

[–] PeleSpirit@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Turning a profit and making a lot of money for yourself are 2 different things.

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@ajsadauskas @technology

Yep #dotcons is what we have been calling this for 20 years. It's a mess we have pushed over ourselves.

[–] shoq@mastodon.social 3 points 1 year ago

@ajsadauskas @technology

This could be one of the more important social media posts of all time. And not one in 100,000 people will have enough information to appreciate a single word of it.

Source: @ajsadauskas
https://mastodon.social/@ajsadauskas@aus.social/110762848575512188

Thanks, @ajsadauskas, for summarising extractivist platform capitalism strategies. The patterns are so clear that mainstreet is getting aware these days. At least partially. Time to rebuild the economy and the internet with collective & public interest first.

@technology

[–] FrankFrank@newsie.social 2 points 1 year ago (5 children)
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[–] skribe@aus.social 2 points 1 year ago

@ajsadauskas @technology I see you know my Facebook friends too 😁

These services are interfaces for interacting with data that YOU create

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