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this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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Straight out of the fryer
23714856
If it's been on the plate for 10m
13468572
Zig zag/crinkle cut goes to the back and I think waffle deserves the #1 spot personally. I agree with the rest of the ordering otherwise.
When cooked well enough, I'd say 1 2 4 5 8 3 6 7.
Ain't no way I'd ever put wedges higher or shoelace lower. Those are always gonna be constant.
8,7,3,1,5,2,4,6
i do love sweet potato, but quite often it seems they dont fit.
6 is so low on the list, because I genuinely never had good ones. If someone serves crinkle-cut fries, they are always the most bland, soggy, frozen industrial ones they can find.
Similar goes for 2 and 4, although they usually dont taste as bland, they seem to have some seasoning on them.
Seasoned fries for robbed
I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.
1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6
The top three are Shoestring, Curly, and Wedges, though not necessarily in that order. I still have not managed to figure out how the fuck restaurants make their shoestring (and steak) fries so fucking good.
Next are waffle fries and onion rings. They're okay.
Sweet Potato fries and tots after that. Just not my thing.
Whoever likes zigzag/crinkle-cut fries is a monster. May god have mercy on their twisted souls.
The secret winner though is zucchini fries, which are mana from the heavens.
Anglosphere ah ah list
Onion rings > tots > sweet potato > everything else
And fuck ketchup, combine one part mayonnaise and one part BBQ sauce to dip that shit in
ketchups good with an equal amount of chili pequin sauce mixed in. I learned this at a mexican restaurant that also served burgers and fries for some reason, and haven't been able to go back to any other fry sauce since
Ok there's another factor here and that's taking into account the dipping sauce if any.
Crinkle cut without sauce? Bland. With a good sauce? Those little accordion fucks hold way more than shoestring.
My vote is on number 10: Röstis
- Shoestrings
- Tots
- Wedges (but not the ones in this picture)
- Onion Rings (they'd be higher on the list but they're not potatoes)
- Waffle
- Curly
- Zigzag (why do they always suck so much? In theory they should be great. Also why are they always sold at public swimming pools?)
- Sweet potato
Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don't, except sweet potato or onion rings.
Onion rings top, then tots, then everything else
Sweet potato Onion Rings Curly Tots Shoestrings Wedges Waffle Zigzag.
Tots might be lower on the list, but I found they can work surprizingly well in some lazy microwave meals I make, so they get extra points for ease and dependability.
I love my thick wedges! Shoestring always disappoints me for some reason
Best to worst:
- Wedges
- Shoestring
- Curly
- Waffle
- Sweet Potato (love sweet potatoes, but as fries they're mediocre at best)
- Tots (if filled with cream cheese they're #2)
- Zigzag
- Onion Rings (don't even belong on this list. Otherwise maybe #5)
What? No Mojo's??
Starting with the best: 8,2,3,4,6,7,5,1
3, 4, 2, 8, 6, 1, 7, 5. Because tots are absolutely immaculate, and sweet potatos (tho good when roasted) are simply not the same kind of satisfying guilty pleasure as the rest.
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