Greentext

Madonna-whore complex

I've been reading up on this and I'm not sure that's exactly it. I certainly don't despise women or want to degrade them regardless of whether I'm interested in them sexually or not and I'm really not sexually attracted to women I would think of as "whores" (that's not really the word I would use except maybe for an actual prostitute, but I assume they mean sexually promiscuous women). I did have a cold but over-bearing mother though so maybe there is something to this. Maybe there is a spectrum and I'm on the lesser end of it.

Thinking about it more I think it's more due to something with the rejection aspect of it. If I spend enough time with a woman and nothing physical happens it's like I switch into "platonic mode" even if they are physically attractive. I've had the same thing happen in romantic relationships where my girlfriend had a much lower libido than me and it just got to the point where we were barely physically intimate at all because they were shooting me down 90% of the time and I just stopped trying because feel like they're not interested and it's just making them feel pressured or annoying them, and feeling I was shitty about myself when I get shot down, so I just reject myself for them until they signal otherwise (which almost never actually happened). This also led me getting lazier with other aspects of the relationship and eventually falling apart because it's hard to make an effort when you're always feeling like you're missing out on one of the best parts (IMO) of being in a relationship. Which again kind of goes against the Madonna complex (at least as I understood it) because that seems to indicate you stay with the "pure" partner you love, which in my case it was kind of the opposite. I was willing to deal with a lot more toxicity to stay with the "whore" partners because they were fulfilling me sexually.

Anyway, thanks for the response it was an interesting rabbit-hole. My experience really isn't that hellish (at least due to this issue) I feel like I'm coping pretty well in my social life without the romantic aspect. People like me, I like them. It's all good. Sometimes a little lonely but that's a pretty rare feeling honestly.

Not always deceit. A lot of these guys don't go into this with the intent to do this, it's just sorta something that happens as they age, and get disaffected/dissatisfied with life in general, and their wife ends up bearing a lot of the bullshit from that. Not an excuse, it's still them being fucking awful people, but they didn't go into the relationship intending to be the husband who's wife does literally everything, while they sit on their ass, and be distant.

There are absolutely pure personality disordered men out there that do, in fact, do this type of thing with intention.