I'm not sure I agree with narcissism being on par with flanderization. One is a personality trait, if not a defect, and the other is lazy script writing. I sort of see where you are going with this but I'm not really onboard. Not all parents are narcissists, either.

The other thing is time. We all get set in our ways as we hurl around the sun time and time again. Everybody thinks they are enlightened enough to not become the stubborn weirdo, like mom or dad or the drunk uncle from Thanksgiving dinner. And everybody is wrong. You will too become a predictably dogmatic or a quirky person in one way or another. People will adapt around you. That's neither narcism nor flanderization. That's just life.

It is true that narcicists and abusers create an atmosphere, where their outrageous behavior gets ignored or swept under the carpet. I think it's fair to say though that that involves more manipulation and strategic thinking on behalf of the a-hole. If somebody dismisses the abusive behavior as "that's just Karen/Bob, they're like that, you know" than that may present as flanderization on the surface but it's not from a lack of script being written. The narcicist has succeeded in pulling the wool over their eyes. I guess that's why bringing these terms together like this rubs me the wrong way.

What's the difference between what people online call "narcissism" and people just being too intellectually lazy, ideologically confused, emotionally weak and developmentally immature to accept their wrongs because they understand why it's in their best interest and that it's the moral thing to do? Cause that can all change easily, it's not something just embedded in you like being trisomic/being background anxious, and people have the moral responsibility to do so.